


Clan Legacy

by tasalmalin



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe, Crossover with Canon, F/M, Girl Sasuke
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-10
Updated: 2013-11-22
Packaged: 2017-12-26 05:26:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 38,906
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/962121
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tasalmalin/pseuds/tasalmalin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Life is very different for a Sasuke who is born a girl. Well, the Massacre still happens, and she still ends up on Team Seven, but not before a few sharp left turns along the way. But what's life without a little dimensional misplacement to spice things up?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Other Uchiha

Five-year-old Itachi eyed the tiny pink bundle with suspicion.

"I thought I was getting a little brother," he said finally.

Fugaku looked away. Mikoto offered a strained smile. "Well, the healers can't always be certain…" she hedged.

"We're still calling it Sasuke," Fugaku announced, storming out of the room.

~*~

"Ta! Ta!"

"Can't you control that child?" Fugaku hissed.

Mikoto frowned at him but continued her attempts to soothe Sasuke—with no greater success.

"Ta! Ta!"

Itachi appeared at his parents' side, eyeing the new baby like it might bite. He'd deigned to spend time with the thing at Mikoto's insistence, but mostly the two sat and stared at each other until Sasuke got hungry or Itachi started poking her like some exotic zoo animal. Sometimes Mikoto despaired of her eldest child.

It took a few moments for the small family to realize that they were now standing in blissful silence.

Itachi raised an eyebrow at the baby.

"Ta!" she shrieked, reaching out for him with a toothless smile.

"Aww, she knows your name!" Mikoto cooed.

Itachi reached up and poked her, sending Sasuke into delighted giggles.

"Itachi dear, can't you just pinch her cheeks like everyone else does?"

~*~

"Wow, nii-san, you're so cool!" Sasuke announced, wrapping her chubby arms around Itachi's leg.

"Sasuke, behave yourself," Fugaku said sternly.

Sasuke started to pout, but Itachi's awkward pat on her head immediately revived her high spirits. "Th—Ch—Chuunin!" She stumbled a bit over the unfamiliar word. "Wow! How come all the other kids are bigger than you? It is 'cuz you're the best?"

"Hn."

"Yes, well done, Itachi," Fugaku said, nodding. "Now come, we're going to be late for the…party."

"Party?" Sasuke repeated, eyes wide. They _never_ had parties!

"Yes, your mother thinks it appropriate, after Itachi's accomplishment today. He has brought much honor to our clan."

Itachi's eyes widened slightly at this lavish praise.

Sasuke scuffed her foot in the dirt.

Fugaku moved off to graciously accept the (occasionally grudging) congratulations of the other parents and Itachi poked Sasuke's forehead.

Sasuke scowled and rubbed her forehead. "Itachi!" she whined.

Itachi raised an eyebrow.

Sasuke's patience broke first—to no one's surprise—but she didn't confess what had caused her sudden change in mood. Instead, she looked up with that bright, sweet smile that her father disdained as 'not Uchiha' but Itachi secretly encouraged. "You're the best, nii-san," she said with a determined nod. "You should have a party."

Several hours, two reprimands for undignified behavior and one (mostly) successful attempt at forcing Itachi to have a bite of cake, Sasuke was curled up on her futon with a filched candle and the rest of Itachi's piece of cake.

"Happy birthday to me," she sang softly.

~*~

"Nii-san, nii-san!"

Itachi's famed reflexes almost weren't up to the task of catching the pouncing six-year-old, but fortunately for his reputation he turned just in time.

"Come train with me!" Sasuke yelled, clambering up his body with practiced ease and fastening her arms around his neck.

"I'm busy."

"You're always busy," Sasuke complained, pouting outrageously. "We started throwing kunai today at the Academy, and I want to be just as good as you! So come practice with me!"

"Ask father."

Sasuke sighed heavily, and Itachi actually stopped arranging his weapons to see what had caused this change in mood. Sasuke used her devastating pouts to great effect, but she was seldom anything but bright and happy. He raised an eyebrow.

"I did," Sasuke mumbled. "He doesn't want to waste his time on silly little girls."

Itachi had a mission in less than three hours. He really needed to check his weapons and pack.

"Well," Itachi said finally. "You're an Uchiha; you should have only the best instruction."

Sasuke blinked at him, then beamed. "And you're the best, right nii-san? Right? Yay! And no poking my forehead this time!"

"Hn." Poke.

"Hey!"

~*~

"Father, father!"

"Sasuke, don't shout."

"Yes, father. Sorry, father."

"Now, what did you need to see me about?"

Sasuke stuck a scroll under his nose. "Look, father!" She attempted to stand with appropriate Uchiha dignity, but her excited wriggling belied her efforts.

Fugaku undid the scroll and looked it over critically.

"I'm top student again this year!" Sasuke burst out, unable to wait any longer. "Sensei says that my taijutsu is the best out of everyone!"

Fugaku calmly rolled the scroll back up and regarded his youngest from behind his desk. "When Itachi was your age, he was graduating."

Sasuke deflated slightly. "I know, but—"

"Try harder." He went back to his work.

"…yes, father."

~*~

"Uchiha-san, thank you for coming."

"Hn."

The flustered chuunin didn't know quite what to make of the solemn pre-teen. He'd _heard_ of Uchiha Itachi, of course—who hadn't?—but hadn't ever expected to actually meet the boy prodigy in person.

"Uh…well, I had actually requested a parent or guardian…" the poor Academy sensei trailed off under that implacable gaze. "Well, I guess it doesn't actually matter. Sasuke has refused to attend class these past few days."

Thankfully, that gaze turned to the sulking girl swinging her legs under her desk and the chuunin took a much needed breath.

"Sasuke?"

The girl scowled. "I don't see why I have to take these stupid flower-arranging classes."

"It's an important part of becoming a kunoichi," the sensei lectured, not for the first time that day. He wilted under the dual Uchiha-glare. "I'll just be over here…" he mumbled, grabbing a stack of essays and hiding behi— _working on_ them.

"Did you have to arrange flowers?" Sasuke demanded.

"No."

"Why not?"

"I am a shinobi."

"Well then I want to be a shinobi, too!"

"You'll have extra taijutsu practice instead of…flowers."

"Good! I'm not afraid to work hard! I want to be as strong as you!"

"Hn."

"Umm…" the chuunin (probably unwisely) interrupted. "She can't actually do that. 'Shinobi' just means a male ninja, and she's a female, so she needs to go to the kunoichi classes. I explained all this in my note…"

Sasuke fixed Itachi with a look he'd seen many times before, the look that said 'you're perfect at everything and I know that you can fix this for me.' So far, the only time that look hadn't worked was in relation to their father.

"Clan children can't get special treatment," the chuunin persisted stubbornly. 

They stayed locked in that position for several, long minutes: Sasuke with her lower lip stuck out and her wide eyes shining, Itachi glaring death at the hapless chuunin, and the chuunin-sensei attempting to hide behind a stack of papers.

Itachi blinked first. "I will speak with Morino-senpai," he announced. "I'm sure he knows a way around this rule."

The chuunin went even paler. "Morino Ibiki? As in ANBU? As in T&I?"

Itachi merely looked at him.

"Oh, are you making friends now that you're in ANBU?" Sasuke asked, completely distracted from her own plight. "Who's Morino-san? Is he nice? Do you like him better than me?"

"I don't get paid enough for this," Sasuke's (soon to be ex-)sensei muttered. "Fine, whatever. I'll exempt you from the kunoichi classes." He buried his head in his hands.

"Yay! Ow, stop poking me!"

~*~

"Uchiha-sama, could I have a moment of your time?"

Fugaku took in the moderate tone, appropriately downcast eyes and subdued demeanor. "Very well, Sasuke, what is it?"

"Please come with me to the training area."

Raising an eyebrow, the Uchiha clan head followed his daughter out to his private training area—the same place where, only a week before, she'd failed to perform their clan's signature Great Fireball jutsu.

He watched silently as she ran through the familiar seals, pursed her lips, and produced a giant fireball. He didn't blink as it passed close enough for his skin to break out in a sweat at the heat.

"I did it all by myself," Sasuke said, panting slightly after using so much chakra. "Itachi didn't help me at all." She attempted to keep her features arranged in a perfect Uchiha mask, but he could still see the hope and pride in her eyes.

"Obviously, since your brother managed it on his first try."

"I'm sorry, father."

"Well, I suppose one week isn't completely hopeless," he allowed. After all, it had taken him almost two months, and he was a year older than Sasuke was now. But still, she was no Itachi…

Sasuke beamed at him. "Thank you, father!"

"Control yourself!"

"Sorry, father!" She blanked her expression, bowed reverently, then backed out of the training area at a dignified walk. As soon as she was out of sight, she broke into a run and started yelling. "Nii-san! Nii-san, guess what?"

~*~

Sasuke whimpered slightly, stuffing her fist in her mouth to muffle the noise. She was eight now, and much, much too big to need her mother to baby her. Father said so.

She coughed miserably and burrowed deeper into her blankets. She hated being sick more than anything.

If Itachi were here…but he was on a mission.

He was always on missions now.

"Sasuke?"

"'Tachi!"

She jumped out of bed and attached herself to his legs like she had when she was very small. Itachi never thought she was stupid or silly, even when she was acting like it. Her head spun and she almost threw up on his feet, but with a supreme effort of will she calmed her rolling stomach.

"Why are you so hot?"

"I'm sick," she whined, sounding like a two-year-old and not caring. "Can you get me some water before you go to bed, nii-san?"

When he didn't answer, not even a 'Hn,' she peered up at his face. His expression was positively thunderous, the way he looked when he was talking to Father.

"S-sorry," she mumbled, pulling back and hugging herself instead. "I—I know you just got back and you're tired…"

He grabbed her by the back of her sweat-soaked yukata and pulled her closer. "Where is—nevermind. What's that smell?"

"I threw up," she said miserably. "I tried to lean out the window…"

She squeaked as he picked her up. Even though she was too hot and sticky, his warmth was comforting, and she decided not to ask questions. He dug through her closet, then carried her out into the hall and deposited her in the bathroom.

"Take a shower. Then put this on," he ordered, handing her a clean yukata.

"O-okay."

She did feel a little bit better once she was clean. To her surprise, Itachi was waiting for her in the hall. Wordlessly, she followed him down the hall, past her room and her sleeping parents, and into his room.

Eyes wide, Sasuke tried to see every detail of the room even in the dark. She'd never been allowed in here before! Then a sudden coughing fit put a damper on her excitement.

Itachi touched her shoulder, guiding her over to the futon and indicating that she should lie down. She started to, but was hit by another coughing fit.

"Not all the way," Itachi said. "When you lie flat it makes the coughing start. It's probably why you were throwing up, too."

Sasuke just stared. How did he know all this stuff?

With a sigh, Itachi reached out and pulled her against his side, so she was half sitting, half reclining. He pulled the blanket up to her chin. "Go to sleep."

"What about you?"

"I'll watch over you."

Sasuke blinked rapidly and caught herself wishing she could be sick every day. She coughed a little. Well, maybe not _every_ day.

"I love you, nii-san," she whispered, cuddling against his side.

~*~

Sasuke sprinted through the village, berating herself for losing track of time. She was so late!

Skidding slightly as she rounded a corner, it took Sasuke a moment to recognize what she was seeing.

A body.

There was a body.

Sasuke stifled a scream.

The street was full of bodies.

Even at this time of night, there should have been a few people making dinner, moving around…but there was nothing. It was completely, eerily silent. And there were bodies everywhere, filling the air with the thick smell of blood.

Sasuke fought not to panic. Something awful was happening. Had happened. Where was Itachi? No one could ever beat him—maybe he was late too? 

Her feet took off without her, and before she knew it she was at her own front door.

"N-nii-san?" she called—softly, in case whoever-it-was was still out there.

"Don't come in!"

"Nii-san!" Awash with relief, she pushed open the door—and froze.

Itachi, dressed in his full ANBU uniform, was pulling his katana out of their mother's body.

"I told you to stay out," Itachi said impassively.

"How could you?"

Sasuke blinked, then touched her mouth. No, it was still closed. Her confusion resolved when her father stepped out of the shadows.

"How could _I_?" Itachi hissed, sounding angrier than Sasuke had ever heard him. "How could _you_ be so _selfish_?"

Sasuke's feet remained rooted to the ground as her father and brother faced off. It didn't take long before her father's body slumped to the floor.

There was blood splattered on Sasuke's face. She didn't want to think about it.

Itachi was giving her that analytical look that he never, ever used on her. She didn't want to think about that either.

"What did you mean 'selfish'?" she asked finally.

Itachi blinked, like that wasn't what he expected her to say. Now that she was looking, she could see that there was something wrong with his Sharingan. And he looked like he'd taken a bath in blood.

She focused on the Sharingan.

"It doesn't matter," Itachi said finally, his voice devoid of any emotion or life. "I wanted to prove myself, and now I have."

"Prove…? Why would you—"

"None of them could stand against me. Will you be any more of a challenge?" He brandished the katana.

Sasuke couldn't bring herself to move. "Wha—?"

A kunai flashed past her face, carving a bloody line into her cheek before sticking in the wall beside her head.

She blinked slowly, then reached up and pulled it out. Even though she'd been using kunai for years now, and her technique was among the best in the class, tonight she held it as clumsily as a civilian. She raised her eyes back to Itachi's.

"Foolish child. You can't kill me. Your hatred is not strong enough. So run away, and let your hate grow, so that one day—"

"No!"

Itachi actually stopped talking, looking faintly surprised.

"I—I could never hate you! You promised you'd watch over me! You protect me! And I—I love you!"

"Don't you understand, foolish child? I killed everyone: Mother, Father…our whole clan. To prove my strength."

"You said that already! That's stupid! Everyone knows you're the strongest ninja ever! Why would you do something so dumb!?"

She'd surprised Itachi twice in one day. "…dumb?" he repeated incredulously.

Sasuke started to cry, something she hadn't done in years. "I—I don't know why you killed everyone but—but I know you, nii-san. You never do anything unless it's important. And if you think it's important that everybody dies…then I believe you." She dropped his kunai and closed her eyes, clenching her hands into fists at her side. "Okay. I'm ready."

"Sasuke, open your eyes."

"I won't! I—I'm sorry, nii-san, but I don't want to watch…"

Her breath hitched, and she tried to stop crying, to be brave like a real ninja—like Itachi. Still, as she heard him walking closer, she couldn't help shaking a little.

He reached out and took her hands.

Sasuke broke into noisy sobs, but forced herself not to move.

"Father thought that you were nothing like me—but I think we are the same. Despite all his efforts, you love fiercely and without reservation."

At this wholly uncharacteristic declaration, Sasuke started to open her eyes—until the sick sound of a blade piercing flesh hit her ears. Her whole body flinched as she waited to die…

And waited. 

And waited.

Was she already dead? Shouldn't there be more pain?

She finally cracked an eye open.

Itachi was on his knees, their hands wrapped around his katana—that was buried in his stomach.

" _NO!_ " Sasuke screamed, ripping her hands away. "What did you do? Nii-san!" 

He easily pinned her against the wall, even as the blood pool reached her sandaled feet. "Not…much time."

She continued to cry hysterically, not sure what she could possibly do, but determined to do something.

"Go to sleep now," he murmured, as if there was any possibility of that happening. "And live in peace, Sasuke."

His strange eyes seemed to glow.

"Tsukuyomi."


	2. Caged

Uchiha Sasuke stared at the blank nothingness that was her whole world now.

How appropriate.

Two weeks, three days, seven hours, twelve minutes, twenty-six seconds since her brother died. A bit longer for the rest of her clan. 

She was still in the hospital, though there wasn't anything wrong with her—that they could fix, anyway.

No one understood what technique Itachi had used on her, and no one knew what happened after that. She was trapped in that weird other world for days, and by the time someone in the village finally noticed something was amiss in the Uchiha compound, Itachi was already dead. The only clue was that his eyes were missing.

Sort of.

They weren't in his head, anyway, because instead, they were in hers.

When she first regained consciousness, awareness, whatever, in the hospital, she opened her eyes and immediately passed out again. Chakra drain, was the prevailing theory.

They couldn't turn it off, and they didn't have any spares lying around even if they wanted to recreate whatever desperate transplant Itachi had implemented.

Three medic-nin had three different theories, but after the last test left her in a coma for four days they decided it would be safer to wait a bit before doing any more experimental treatments.

Hence the bandages.

And the darkness.

"Ah, good morning, Sasuke."

"Hokage-sama."

"How are you feeling today?"

"…"

"Have you given any thought to what you would like to do now?"

"…"

"I'm afraid you'll be here a bit longer while we sort out your custody arrangements. Do you remember talking about this earlier?"

"Hn."

He sighed heavily. "Well, continue to rest and heal. If you ever want to talk, there are people here to listen."

She listened to the door close and went back to staring at the inside of her eyelids.

~*~

The days were beginning to blend together. Had it been three weeks? Three and a half?

It didn't matter. Nothing ever changed. Her brother was still dead. Her world was impenetrable darkness.

Vaguely, she heard a commotion somewhere else in the hospital. People shouting. Stuff being thrown about.

Nothing to do with her.

Then the door to her room slid open and she heard footsteps.

"Get out. This is my room," she informed the intruder coldly.

"I'll leave in a few minutes," a stranger said back.

She blinked behind her bandages. No one told her 'no' any more.

Someone knocked and she heard scuffling as whoever-it-was apparently hid under her bed.

"Uchiha-sama?" 

It was one of the nurses. Sasuke sneered at her, pleased when she heard the woman's sharp intake of breath. 

"I'm sorry to bother you, but have you seen a boy about your age?"

Sasuke raised an eyebrow. "Obviously not."

"Oh…right. I—I apologize, Uchiha-sama. I won't bother you any further." The woman scurried out again.

"You purposefully misunderstood her," the boy remarked, presumably after getting up off the floor.

"Nothing gets past you," Sasuke sniped.

"You did not need to do that."

"I wasn't helping you. She's annoying."

"Hn."

"Hn."

"Who are you anyway?" she asked finally.

"None of your business."

"You're hiding in my room."

"I'm not hiding."

She wrinkled her nose. "Are you bleeding?"

"It's nothing."

"That seems unlikely; you are in a hospital."

"Maybe I'm visiting."

"Maybe you're full of shit."

He snorted.

Her mouth twitched slightly. 

"I burst some blood vessels in my eyes," he said eventually. "What happened to your eyes?"

"What happened to yours?"

The silence stretched, but somehow, it didn't have the same weight as all the silences since That Night.

Finally, he spoke. "I disobeyed my uncle, and he hurt me."

She processed that for a moment. "My brother took mine out."

She could hear him processing. But all he said was: "When will you get the bandages off?"

"I won't. He gave me his eyes instead, and they don't work right."

"That's a weird thing to do."

"Hn."

"Do you have any chairs?"

She looked around, before remembering that that wouldn't actually help. "I don't know," she snapped.

The silence stretched awkwardly.

Sasuke broke first. Pulling her legs up to her chest, she pointed at the empty space. "You can sit here."

After a pause, she felt the bed dip slightly.

"I'm Hyuuga Neji."

"Uchiha Sasuke."

"Do you—"

"There you are!"

Sasuke felt Neji flinch. She frowned.

"Hiashi-sama!"

"Hokage-sama, this is private clan business."

"Hiashi-sama, Hokage-sama," Neji said coolly, no trace of the flinch in his voice. They were sitting close enough the Sasuke could feel the tension belying his steady tone.

"What exactly is going on here?" Sasuke demanded. "This is my room. Only the Hokage can barge in uninvited."

That neatly interrupted whatever was happening. She felt several sets of eyes on her, and crossed her arms stubbornly.

"Girl, do you know who I am?"

"Well, you're not the Hokage, so you can't tell me, the head of the oldest clan in Konoha, what I can and cannot do in my own space."

"Well," the Hokage said, trying and failing not to sound amused. "Isn't this an interesting development?"

~*~

Two days later, Neji and Sasuke faced off in front of their new apartment. It was the Hokage’s solution to both their problems, and he was the only one in the village who thought it was a good idea.

"I don't need your help," they said simultaneously, in the same, flat tone.

Seemingly half of Konoha had turned out to comment on the Hokage's solution for the Uchiha Problem With The Hyuuga Corollary, but the two young people paid them no mind.

"…too young to be on their own…"

"…unmarried…"

"…can they even reach the stove? Far too young…"

"…scandalous…"

"…that’s right, the whole clan…"

"…third time he's been hospitalized under 'mysterious circumstances'…"

Well, maybe a little mind.

"Don't those busybodies have anything better to do?" Sasuke muttered.

"Not likely," Neji whispered back.

She reached out and felt, well, blindly, for his hand, grabbing hold when she finally found it.

“Hand-holding is girly,” he complained, trying to shake her loose.

“Deal with it. I want to go inside and I don’t know where the door is.”

“Oh,” he said softly, using that tone, the one that pitied her for being as helpless as a newborn, the one that all the adults used with her since That Night, and Sasuke was suddenly furious.

“Never mind,” she hissed, reclaiming her hand. “I said I didn’t need your help!” She turned and promptly walked into a fencepost. Face burning with humiliation, she listened carefully—but the adults were still arguing about whatever stupid stuff adults argued about and apparently no one had witnessed her supreme klutziness.

Except, of course, stupid Hyuuga Neji. She jumped when someone touched her arm. “I thought hand-holding was girly,” she sniped, trying to shake free.

“It is,” he said in his usual, arrogant tone. “Holding hands is for little girls and mushy stuff.” He linked their elbows. “But it would only be proper for a gentleman to escort a lady; my father says so.”

“Why are you here with me instead of home with your father?”

“He’s dead,” Neji said flatly in that don’t-you-dare-pretend-you-understand-or-worse-feel-sorry-for-me tone Sasuke had perfected over the last few weeks.

“Mine, too,” she said, without a trace of pity. After all, she’d lost her whole clan and her eyesight—she needed her pity for herself.

“Hnn.” He led—escorted—her up the steps, and if she had to walk further to his side than if they were holding hands and bumped her shoulder on the doorframe, it was still worth it.

~*~

Two days into their new living situation and Sasuke was frustrated. The apartment was only four rooms, and tiny—the whole thing would probably have fit in their dining room back home. 

But somehow, she still managed to get lost like an idiot child.

She felt the wall carefully. Was this the bathroom or the front door? She desperately needed a shower and didn’t want to be seen on the street looking like, well, however she looked after three days without a bath and in clothes that probably didn’t match.

She just stood there, frozen in indecision, until Neji finally found her. 

“You probably don’t want to go out like that,” he said. “Your shirt’s on backwards.”

Sasuke wanted to cry.

“And you smell. Come on, you should take a shower.”

She grit her teeth and trailed along like a lost puppy as he took her to the bathroom and pushed her in.

“Well don’t expect me to wash you,” he sniped when she just stood there.

Her pride couldn’t take any more of this and she slammed the door (hopefully) in his face. She checked first that there was a towel, then stripped off her clothes and groped blindly until she found the shower.

She turned on the water.

“Aah! It’s cold!” she shrieked.

“What are you, stupid?” Neji called from elsewhere in the apartment. “So turn it the other way!”

She scowled in his direction and turned the water the other way.

Maybe she wasn’t quite as hopeless as she’d thought, though that arrogant bastard didn’t need to rub it in all the time. There were still some things a blind person just couldn’t do.

Later, when she found her room again, a fresh outfit was laid out on her futon.

~*~

“This is annoying,” Neji said a few days later. “I spend more time in your room sorting things out than I do mine.”

“Well excuse me! I don’t exactly appreciate you leaving your stuff lying around the main room, either!”

“I told you, it’s the only space big enough for scrolls and weapons!”

“Just go practice somewhere else!”

“You could try paying attention to where you’re going!”

They stopped yelling and glared at each other—or, rather, Sasuke sensed the heavy weight that she associated with Neji’s anger and she clenched her fists and gritted her teeth in his general direction.

“What if we put both futons in the same room and use the empty one for training?” Neji asked.

“No way! I don’t want you spying on me while I’m getting dressed!”

“Don’t be ridiculous; if I really wanted to spy on you a few walls wouldn’t be any kind of protection.”

She sputtered.

“Just think about it. I’m already in and out of your room all the time anyway to get clothes and leave clothes and—“ he cut off.

They had an unspoken agreement not to mention the fact that every night one of them would go and wake the other from their nightmares. It was a great relief to both of them that they were never pressed to “talk about it.”

“I suppose we could try it,” she said grudgingly. “Otherwise I’m sure you’ll leave a kunai out one day and I’ll fall and stab myself, and wouldn’t that be awkward to explain. Just keep those freaky eyes to yourself, pervert.”

“Like I’d want to peek at a scrawny little kid like you, anyway.”

“Hey!”

~*~

Even if she’d still been able to see, Sasuke would have been at a loss trying to provide meals for herself. Probably she would have survived on instant ramen and nutrient bars.

But as it was, no one could expect her to use a stove and Neji was in charge of feeding the both of them.

“You’re really good at this,” Sasuke said in a rare moment of generosity. He had a big enough head without her showering him with compliments like a stupid fangirl.

Naturally, he took offense to this. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

She could feel his irritation in the air, and she liked to imagine that his forehead scrunched up like Itachi-nii-san’s when he was annoyed, and he put his hands on his hips like her mother did. She stifled an inappropriate giggle. “What’s your problem now? I’m just saying that you’re good at taking care of yourself. I have no idea how to make stir-fry or use a washing machine or any of this stuff.”

The oppressive atmosphere lightened a little, but he still wasn’t over his little tiff.

She jumped when something slammed onto the table in front of her.

“Yes, well, I’m not a servant, so it’s about time you started pulling your own weight around here. You can slice the vegetables.”

She reached out uncertainly and, naturally, touched the blade of a knife. She quickly snatched her hand back. “I can’t.”

“Of course you can. They don’t have to be perfectly even; we aren’t being graded on aesthetics. Did you really watch your hand every time you picked up a kunai?”

That condescending tone never failed to get to her and Sasuke grabbed the knife—by the handle this time—and a random vegetable.

And if some of the vegetable slices burned a little or didn’t cook all the way through, Sasuke was still ridiculously proud of herself for having an impact on the world, however minor it might be.

She was less thrilled when he taught her how to sweep.

(“Just move in a grid-like pattern!”

“It’s not like I can see the dirt!”

“You’ll still get it on your feet!”

“That’s just gross!”

“Then move your lazy butt!”)

~*~

It was really too much to hope for that the adults would let Sasuke and Neji adjust to their new lives in peace.

The first day, a medical ninja turned up to advise them about the “necessary accommodations” for Sasuke’s “disability.” She shut herself in her room and pressed her hands over her ears until Neji lecturing at him was just noise.

The next day, a civilian “therapist” appeared to “discuss their feelings.” This time Sasuke felt up to joining the lecturing—though today it was really more like yelling, and she was pretty sure that Neji had thrown some things at the woman before she finally left. But when the Hokage stopped by later, making noise about ‘pressing charges’ and ‘a more structured environment’ she stubbornly maintained that she’d seen nothing.

The third day no one bothered them and they began to hope, but first thing the next morning an old lady bustled in—without knocking!—and poked around in all their cupboards (“to make sure there’s decent food”) and the tiny laundry (“to check on the washing”). Neji hustled her out before she could check that they had warm clothes. 

Despite their best efforts to run her off, she showed up every day to verify that they had the same basic survival skills as a two-year-old—clothes, food, lack of cockroaches—which was just insulting. They didn’t need any help, dammit!

A full two weeks after they’d moved into their apartment, the woman didn’t show. Neji thought maybe she’d died or something; Sasuke just didn’t care. Their day was blissfully adult free until just before lunch.

“Now what?” Neji complained.

Sasuke concentrated. “I think it’s a ninja,” she said. “His chakra feels…organized. Or something. It’s hard to explain.” The quality of the air…shifted, slightly.

“Definitely a ninja,” Neji confirmed. “He’s wearing a hitai-ate and a flak jacket.”

“Were you just using your Byakugan?”

“…yes, why?”

“I think I felt something.”

“Well, some elite ninja are able to track just by sensing chakra signatures, so it’s not impossible that you’re more sensitive to chakra usage now.”

Sasuke smiled to herself. This new sense wasn’t worth losing her sight, but it was something.

“Do you think if we don’t answer he’ll go away?” Neji asked.

“Nope!” a voice called from the other side of the door.

Sasuke sighed and went to open the door.

“Yo,” he said.

“Can’t you people take a hint?” Sasuke groused.

“I’m sure I don’t know what you’re talking about. Is that food?”

“Who are you anyway?”

“Hatake Kakashi. I already know your names, of course.”

He invited himself to lunch, which was annoying, but he was the only babysitter so far not to comment on the box Neji had stolen from a nearby alley so he could reach the top of the stove, so that was something.

“Well, you’re obviously still alive, so you can’t be doing that badly for yourselves,” Kakashi said finally. “You could survive not eating for this long, but if you hadn’t managed to drink any water you’d be comatose.”

Sasuke didn’t know what to make of this. “Uh, sure.”

“Well, my job here is done.”

“Wait, really? You’re not going to…ask us how we afford groceries, or manage the cooking, or anything?”

“Hell, no. I’m a jounin, not a nanny. I’m just here because the Hokage is annoyed that I failed a team again. He seems to think I don’t understand how to behave around children.”

“I’m not a child,” Sasuke and Neji said simultaneously.

“Hey, I’m just repeating the mission parameters.”

“You’re getting paid for this?”

“Sort of. It’s embarrassing to have a D-rank mission at my level…”

“Hey, we’re at least a B-rank!” Sasuke protested.

“Whatever. So do you two just sit around here all day?”

“…why?”

“Not that I really care, but aren’t you supposed to be in school or something?”

Sasuke went rigid in her chair. “Not anymore!” she spat.

“Hey, relax! It’s your choice, no need to get so defensive.”

“It’s not any kind of choice! I couldn’t even find the Academy!”

“Stop whining. You think you’re the first ninja to get injured? I lost one of my eyes on a mission and had to re-learn everything with my new, non-existent depth perception.”

“He does have his hitai-ate pulled down over his left eye,” Neji confirmed without being prompted.

“It’s not the same thing,” Sasuke insisted. “I can’t see at all.”

“So work harder. Gai tell me there’s a kid at the Academy right now who can’t do ninjutsu or genjutsu at all, and his taijutsu is pathetic. The teachers laugh at him. But he’s never missed a single day.”

“I couldn’t seriously go back to the Academy,” Sasuke said weakly. “I mean…how would I get there? Where would I sit? What happens if we have tests? Or kunai practice?”

“No one said being a ninja was easy. Figure it out.”

There was a spike of electricity in the air and the rustling of leaves as Kakashi Shunshined away.

Silence reigned around the small table.

“I’m well enough to go back to tomorrow,” Neji offered.

“I’m not busy.”


	3. Ninja Academy

They went the next day, holding hands like stupid girls, and Sasuke followed Neji to his class, bandages wrapped securely around her useless eyes.

He told the person next to him to find another seat while Sasuke adopted her best “head of the Uchiha clan” voice and informed the chuunin-sensei that she was joining this class.

He protested, of course, and threatened to take it to the Hokage, but she just sat down and refused to move, and the next day when she turned up again he ignored her. 

Lectures were easy; you didn’t need eyes to sit and listen. Technically she was a year behind, but she used to be top of her class and she already knew most of this stuff anyway.

Taijutsu was harder. Mostly they practiced forms or endless repetitions of the same technique against one of the training logs, which wasn’t any different once she adjusted to orienting herself in the dark. Point-sparring wasn’t so bad, either; the biggest problem was misjudging her opponent’s height, which she countered by memorizing each of her new classmates’ builds. She wasn’t top of the class anymore, but her body remembered where to go and it wasn’t like she was supposed to depend on her eyes in a spar anyway. Free-sparring, of course, was awful.

And then there was kunai and shuriken training. There just was no substitute for being able to see the target. Most of the time she just sat and ran her fingers over the grain of the wood flooring.

One day, about a week after they returned, the two sat outside the Academy after class and moped.

“The fighting style they teach here is not useful to me,” Neji complained, breaking the oppressive silence.

Sasuke choked on her outrage. “Not useful for _you_? I’m not even allowed to _try_ sparring anymore!”

“Stop acting like you’re the only one with problems! I’ve trained in the Gentle Fist style my whole life, and now that there’s no one to practice it with it’s all just going to waste! Every time I have to go through those stupid Academy forms I lose a little bit of irreplaceable muscle memory. And when would I ever need to throw a kunai?”

They both sat and fumed for a few minutes.

“Well, why don’t you just practice your family style after class? I thought you said you knew all the forms already.” 

“I’d rather not leave you here by yourself.”

“Look, I’m not _helpless_! I can manage not to stick my tongue in an electrical socket for a few hours!”

“You…what?”

“…I did that once when I was little. My hair stuck straight up for two days.”

Neji made a strange noise.

“What, like you’ve never done something stupid?” Sasuke said defensively. “I was two!”

He laughed.

Behind her bandages, Sasuke’s eyes widened. She’d never heard him laugh before.

He soon stopped, but the tension was broken. “I-I don’t remember the last time I did that.”

“Yeah, my life isn’t exactly party central at the moment, either.”

“…I didn’t mean to say that you were helpless. You know as well as I do that lots of people will come after you, or at least your eyes, given half the chance.”

“Itachi-nii-san gave them to _me_ ,” she protested hotly. “Besides, what difference do you think _you’re_ going to make?”

“More than you, I imagine. You can’t even hit a target.”

“That’s only because those blocks of wood don’t have a chakra signature. If it were a real person, I could hit them.”

“Well, I’m certainly not volunteering myself for target practice, but I’m sure you could find something to work on if you came with me.”

“Like those stupid Academy forms that you’re too cool for?” she sniped, but without heat.

They didn’t have anything more pressing to do, so they went looking for somewhere to practice. The first empty field was only a few blocks from the Academy, and they were soon surrounded by other students making fun of Sasuke for “playing at being a ninja.” Their next try was apparently reserved for chuunin and they were quickly kicked out. Neji rejected the third field as too close to the Hyuuga compound. They finally went to one of the wooded training areas, where they were guaranteed privacy. 

Neji found a relatively open space and drilled relentlessly in every Gentle Fist technique he could remember. He wisely said nothing when Sasuke repeatedly tripped over roots and rocks and walked into trees. She’d say something if she wanted help. Well, probably she wouldn’t. But she’d get mad if he said anything so he didn’t.

Sasuke spent a frustrating hour attempting to map her immediate surroundings by touch, then dropped cross-legged to the ground and folded her hands. She stayed that way for several minutes before she heard Neji come stand beside her.

“What are you doing?”

“Quiet, I’m trying to concentrate. Itachi-nii-san told me that Konoha ANBU frequently travel at night just by ‘feeling the forest.’ If they can jump around in the trees than I should be able to walk on the ground without face-planting.”

“That sounds useful. We should make a training exercise for that,” Neji said.

“You aren’t going to tell me that ANBU-level skills are beyond an Academy student?”

“Don’t be stupid. This extra training is all about what works best for us, individually. I activated my Byakugan for the first time only a few months ago; I still have a lot of training to do before I can utilize it effectively. Why don’t you tell me what you sense and I’ll tell you what I see? We can practice every day, and we can use each other’s progress as a guide.”

A mutual training exercise. That sounded good. “Well I only just started today. But I sense four birds and…two insects within ten meters.”

“My vision isn’t refined enough to distinguish something as small as an insect, yet.”

“Well, you have something to work on then.”

“You need something to work on, too. Try pointing to the trees.”

Sasuke concentrated.

~*~

The awareness training was a huge success for both of them, and they split their time between that and drilling basic kicks, punches and stances at the training area they’d unofficially adopted as their own. It didn’t make much of a difference in class, but as Sasuke said, there was more to being a ninja then good grades at the Academy.

Nevertheless, Neji wanted to do something to help her. Not that he was comfortable admitting any such motive to himself, let alone the excessively proud Sasuke. As the number one rookie, he could admit that she had a lot of potential, even without her eyes. But their sensei absolutely refused to vary her physical training in any way. 

Hence his current errand.

He cautiously approached the ANBU barracks. The interior looked—pretty much like an ordinary building, complete with a bored-looking chuunin seated behind a large desk. He breathed a sigh of relief. He didn’t _really_ believe that there were severed heads mounted on the walls here, but with ANBU you just never know.

He walked up to the desk and cleared his throat.

The chuunin, a woman in a mouse mask, put down her report and looked around.

He cleared his throat again.

She leaned forward and raised an eyebrow. “Are you…lost, kid?”

He fought the urge to scowl, and stood a little straighter. If he went up on his toes a bit, he could just see over the top of the desk. “I’m looking for Hatake Kakashi, please. I was told I might find him here.”

Her other eyebrow shot up, but she reached for her intercom. “Dog, there’s someone here to see you. You really don’t understand the concept of a secret identity, do you?”

Neji couldn’t hear the response, but the woman gestured for him to take a seat in one of the chairs.

He scrambled up a bit awkwardly—they were designed for adults—and ignored her comment about how “adorable” he was.

Kakashi eventually appeared, tilting his head quizzically when he saw who was in the waiting room. “…yes?”

“First, I wanted to thank you for your advice,” Neji began, sliding out of the chair and bowing. “Now that we go to the Academy every day Hokage-sama has stopped sending people to check on us. And I wanted to ask you a favor.”

“Me? I’m not really…”

“You’re the most helpful adult either of us know.”

The chuunin started laughing.

“Well,” Kakashi said, “I suppose _that_ sad state of affairs warrants me hearing you out, at least. What exactly is this favor?”

Twenty minutes later, Neji was at his own front door.

“That was a long grocery trip,” Sasuke commented. “Are you ready to train yet?”

“Ready. Come on.” He raised a finger to his lips, gesturing for Kakashi to be quiet.

As soon as Sasuke stepped out the door, she cocked her head to the side. “Is someone with you?”

“Not bad,” Kakashi said approvingly.

“Hatake-san?”

“Ugh, just Kakashi is fine. Neji tells me that you want to practice kunai and shuriken throwing against a live target.”

“Oh…yes! We tried, but I’m worried that Neji will be seriously hurt.”

“Wait, you actually let her throw kunai at you? I thought you were joking!”

“I don’t joke,” Neji muttered, poking at a hole in his sleeve where he’d failed to dodge. The bloodstains still hadn’t come out after three washings. “And she only hit me a couple of times.”

“Not because my aim was off!” Sasuke insisted.

Kakashi just shook his head as they dragged him to their training area. He raised an eyebrow as Sasuke confidently navigated her way through the forest. The two students reached their regular spot and turned to him simultaneously. He didn’t miss how Sasuke unerringly oriented herself in his direction. Hmm. “Okay, then. Why don’t you both try and hit me. If you succeed, I’ll buy you dinner.”

“Are you sure you won’t get hurt?” Sasuke asked.

Kakashi glared at her, even if she couldn’t see it. “If two eight-year-old brats can hit me, I should definitely retire as a ninja.”

“I’m nine,” Neji corrected.

“Okay,” Sasuke said with a shrug. She pulled out a handful of shuriken.

Kakashi caught, dodged and substituted away from a rain of projectiles for the next hour and surprisingly found himself having fun. These kids were clever, no doubt about that. It only took them one mistake to realize the problem with attacking from opposite sides (“Ow, you hit me!” “Sorry, Neji!”) and Neji wasn’t lying when he said that Sasuke was skilled at sensing chakra. And the boy’s Byakugan was impressively developed for one so young. 

And they didn’t complain, which in his admittedly limited experience was rare for kids. And adults.

He managed to get between them again and watched Sasuke take a shuriken in the arm while hers headed straight for Neji. Instead of dodging like a normal person, Neji firmed up his posture and glared at the shuriken.

Kakashi was just about to intervene—it was going to hit his face, after all—when something unexpected happened. A faint blue aura of chakra grew around the boy, and he began to spin in an imitation of his clan’s signature technique. Instead of hitting him, the shuriken slowed, then dropped to the ground a few centimeters to his left.

Neji immediately collapsed. “Are you all right?” Kakashi asked, still not quite able to believe that an eight—nine—year-old branch member had managed even that much of a Heavenly Spin. This kid would definitely go far—with the proper coaching.

“What happened?” Sasuke demanded, pulling the shuriken out of her arm without so much as a wince. “Is it Neji? Is he hurt?”

“I think he’s just drained his chakra,” Kakashi said absently, helping Neji to sit up.

“Oh, was he doing that spinning thing again? You idiot!” Sasuke scolded. “If this were a real mission someone would have stabbed you by now. Just dodge next time!”

“I’m going to get this right,” Neji insisted weakly.

“Well, neither of you was quite as pathetic as I expected,” Kakashi interrupted. “But while you managed to hit each other, you still didn’t hit me.” He watched closely as Sasuke helped Neji to his feet, but the boy seemed fine, just exhausted. “When you think you can, give me a call.”

They looked torn between thanks and annoyance.

“In the meantime, you might consider using blunted weapons and throwing them at each other. Who gave live weapons to kids, anyway?”

“My father gave them to me,” they said at the same time.

Of course.

~*~

The first written exam since their return rolled around, and Neji thought he could detect a malicious gleam in sensei’s eye as he handed them around.

“Question 1,” Neji read aloud.

“No talking,” sensei called.

“Unless there’s someone in this room who can’t read, it’s not cheating to just read the questions.”

Sensei and student glared at one another, but sensei was the first to back down.

“Question 1,” Neji repeated. “A ninja throws a 1.8 gram shuriken at a target 30 meters away. The wind speed…”

“How am I supposed to keep all these numbers straight without notes?”

“Use your brain, idiot.”

Sasuke lost almost half the available points for “sloppy kanji” and “failure to properly show work.”

Neji lost twenty points for no reason at all.

Neither said a word of complaint to anyone.

~*~

One day a few months into their acquaintance Neji decided he didn’t want to go to school. Sasuke was confused.

“It’s my cousin’s birthday today,” he finally admitted.

She waited.

“My father died because of her.”

She didn’t press for the rest of the story. She knew about stories like that. They both cut school and sat by the memorial stone in complete silence for hours. If there were any tears, Sasuke wasn’t telling.

A few days later, sensei awkwardly offered empty platitudes for the anniversary of Neji’s father’s death. He just stood there stoically until the man went away.

Sasuke was honored that she knew the day he actually dedicated to his father’s memory.

~*~

A few months later, she returned the confidence by asking him to celebrate Itachi’s birthday with her. The Hokage was planning some kind of memorial service for the anniversary of the massacre of her clan, but she wanted to remember her beloved nii-san for something besides the massacre.

Neji never questioned her absolute confidence that Itachi had a really good reason for what he did, just one that she didn’t know yet.

He never mentioned how the Hokage himself had awkwardly apologized for not noticing that her brother was obviously crazy sooner. 

Just like he never commented when she slipped and shared a piece of advice from her Itachi-nii-san, remembering the beloved big brother and not the homicidal maniac.

She might kind of love him for it.

~*~

“Just say it.”

“…”

“You can’t pull that sort of thing on _me_ , Hyuuga Neji. I’ve known you for almost six months now; I can feel how tense you are. What’s going on? Are we getting another babysitter? Did sensei mark you down again for helping me?”

“I’ve been asked to help decorate for the festival.”

“… _you_? You never really struck me as the festival type.”

“When Hyuuga-sama ‘asks’ for something it’s not really a request.”

“Oh. You…haven’t had to do something like this before, right? You freaked out just thinking about leaving me here by myself so you could go train.”

“I did not ‘freak out’—I expressed a perfectly reasonable concern in a reasonable manner.”

“Whatever. Stop being dumb and answer the question.”

“I…do not believe Hyuuga-sama…entirely understood what he was agreeing to when he granted permission for me to come here. I do have duties and responsibilities at the compound that I have, obviously, completely neglected.”

“So…now he’s randomly decided to remind you about it.”

“It’s been months, more than enough time to get settled in.”

“But you didn’t go back until he not-asked you to.”

“I was busy.”

“I forgot that you have a huge family.”

“It’s not much of one.”

“Still more than I have.”

They sat in excruciatingly awkward silence for what felt like a very long time.

“So is this a private party?” Sasuke said finally. “I know how terrified you are of what I’ll get up to if you leave me alone for five minutes.”

“I’m not _terrified_ , it was a _reasonable_ concern—never mind.” She heard him shift in his seat. “I suppose there’s no reason you can’t tag along. Though I can’t imagine why you’d want to.”

Since he hadn’t said a single word about his clan or his home since that first disclosure about his uncle in the hospital room, she was sure he could think of any number of reasons to keep her separate from that part of his life, both personal and clan-related. But it was a typical backwards-Neji-apology for being so insensitive, so she fully intended to capitalize on the opportunity to intrude on his privacy. After all, _everyone_ knew her business.

They skipped their extra training that day in order to visit the compound so Neji could do whatever it was he was supposed to be doing—she couldn’t really picture him setting out flower arrangements, but he could cook and clean so who knows.

Sasuke had never been to the Hyuuga compound, at least not that she could remember. Tensions between the two clans were—had been—very high, and Council meetings were more than enough contact for both Clan Heads. 

Now, of course, the splendor of the now-second oldest clan in Konoha’s family seat was lost on her.

As they progressed, a curious change came over Neji. It was hard to pinpoint exactly, especially since she couldn’t see what he was doing and he maintained his usual silence. It would be more than a little hypocritical to start prying into his family-related pain so she concentrated on identifying the source of her gut feeling.

She always knew when Neji walked into a room, and not just because she was beginning to get a sense of the chakra signatures of those around her. It was like onii-san, or otou-san—he had so much presence it was just impossible to miss. She assumed it was a pride thing—Neji was a very proud person.

Which was fine; she was, too.

But now he felt different. Smaller, somehow. More contained. It was…very strange. He even walked differently. Neji _never_ shuffled; he strode. But he was shuffling now, dragging his feet in the dirt.

The sounds of passersby died down and she finally heard the clack of stone under her sandals instead of the packed dirt of the road. They made a sharp left turn and walked some more, through what smelled like a fine garden and past a burbling fountain until they finally reached some wooden steps.

Even though she knew there must be more than a hundred people living here, it was eerily silent.

She shed her sandals and padded wordlessly down corridors and through traditional sliding doors until they finally found what was probably the kitchen. A kitchen, anyway; a compound this big probably had several. She could hear water boiling and smell noodles cooking, but even when she strained her senses she couldn’t hear any voices. The Uchiha were not quite as traditional as the Hyuuga in some ways, so though Sasuke remembered her mother singing softly as she prepared the family meal, perhaps that was not proper here? Was there some kind of protocol in a communal kitchen like this? Or maybe it was empty?

“Hitomi-baa-san,” Neji said, voice dull and soft and very un-Neji-like.

She thought she heard a vague grunt somewhere off to her left.

“I must report to Hyuuga-sama. May Sasuke-san remain here until I return?”

Now that she knew where to focus, she could just make out a faint chakra signature. The woman must have nodded, because Neji left without another word.

Torn between irritation and gratitude that he’d just left her in the middle of a strange room to fend for herself, she put her hands out and groped awkwardly for anything that wasn’t open space—or a hot stove. She found a countertop with her forehead just as her arm hit a warm body.

Stifling the urge to curse or ask why the person hadn’t mentioned that she was about to hit her head (or them), she trailed her hand along the cabinets until she found a chair and sat in it.

The oppressive silence loomed, broken only by the bubbling of the pot and her own breathing.

She’d identified at least two other people in the room, but they might as well be trees for all she could sense about them. They didn’t even seem to be breathing. 

Neji finally returned and she latched onto his arm, completely uncharacteristic of her recent attempts to move around independently. “Are we going?” she asked, wincing as her voice echoed loudly in the silence.

“I’m to hang lanterns along the wall,” he said, still in that creepy voice.

“Great. I’ll help.” She hustled him out of the room, not even stopping when she misjudged the width of the door and banged her shin. He followed along docilely in yet another un-Neji-like behavior (maybe she didn’t know him as well as she thought?) until she finally stopped at an intersection, breathing much more harshly than the mild exertion warranted. “Um…where are we?”

“The lanterns are stored in a separate building.” After a lengthy pause, he started moving, presumably toward this separate building.

Once they were there, she couldn’t contain herself any longer. “Are we alone here?”

“Yes.”

“Okay, good. What is going on?”

“What do you mean?”

She analyzed his tone, but he sounded sincere—and half-asleep. “I mean—Neji, how many people were in that kitchen?”

“Besides you?”

“Besides me.”

“Eleven.”

Her mouth fell open. “Seriously?”

She heard him moving around, probably looking for lanterns.

“Is everyone here so…” she groped for a word “…small?”

For a long time, she thought he wasn’t going to answer. “It’s the legacy of the Hyuuga clan.” 

“Wha…?”

“The branch family all share the same fate: Death. We…exist, here, in this prison of servitude, until either we can’t bear it or we grow old and then we die.”

He sounded…resigned. It was terrifying.

“Or our death is useful to the main family in some way and they order us killed.”

Finally, he sounded angry. Just a little, but it was _something_. She groped for something to say. “Okay.”

“What?”

She cleared her throat. “Okay, that’s pretty awful. But it’s still not as bad as having your whole clan murdered, and I’m still getting on with my life.”

“It is the same, just slower.”

It was a testament to how unsettling this whole experience was that she let that slide—for now. “Whatever. Just hurry up with those lanterns so we can go home.”

She could sense his presence become just a little stronger. “…right.”

It was two days before he started acting like his old, irritating self again.

~*~

Neji was at the ANBU barracks. Again.

And Mouse was still seated behind the desk.

“Come to throw stuff at Dog-san again?” she asked cheerily, paging him. “You’ll get him soon. We’re all rooting for you!”

Neji—who at almost eleven could comfortably see over the desk now—declined to comment. 

Kakashi soon appeared and accompanied him back to the apartment. “You usually come by every two months or so,” Kakashi observed. “I just saw you last week. Is Sasuke sick again?”

Neji shuddered—he did not want to remember that time. The two Academy students were determined to prove to everyone that they didn’t need any help from anyone, and by the time Kakashi returned from his mission and Neji could get his advice, Sasuke was delirious with fever. “Nothing like that. We had another training idea. But it’s really Sasuke’s idea, so I’ll let her tell you.”

When they reached the apartment, Sasuke was hovering in the doorway, all but vibrating with excitement. “Neji and I were thinking about the kind of ninja we want to be someday, and the kinds of skills we need to develop to achieve our goals,” she said, with much more maturity than most genin. “There are three basic ninja battle skills: taijutsu, genjutsu, and ninjutsu. I can usually keep up in taijutsu, but it will never be something I excel at. I’m totally hopeless at genjutsu, though I’m immune to most of it because I don’t use my eyes. But ninjutsu—that’s something I could do. As an Uchiha, I am capable of using any chakra element, and most ninjutsu have wide-ranging effects and can be used from a distance, so my eyesight won’t be as much of a disadvantage.”

“But sensei refused to show us any,” Neji added. “He thinks our chakra systems are still too underdeveloped.”

Kakashi was beginning to see where this was going.

“Which is stupid,” Sasuke continued, “since I learned ninjutsu when I was seven. I haven’t really used it since…for a while, but I showed Neji and he says that I remembered it right.”

“She has impressive power and control for someone so young,” Neji pronounced, sounding like a forty-year-old man. “I think she can learn more.”

“You do know some ninjutsu, right?” Sasuke asked. “I mean, you are a jounin.”

Kakashi spared a moment for his wounded ego. “It’s been suggested. Come on, let’s see this impressive power and control of yours.”

They went out to a new training area, one with a small lake. “Am I facing the water?” Sasuke asked.

Neji reached out and gently turned her a few degrees. “There you go.”

Sasuke formed a series of seals. “Katon: Goukakyou no Jutsu,” she cried, pursing her lips and blowing out an enormous fireball. 

It _was_ impressive, especially for a student. Not that Neji was one to hand out false praise.

“Hmm,” Kakashi said.

“So?”

“Did I do it wrong?”

“No, I’m just deciding how irresponsible I really am.”

“Will a ‘very’ or a ‘not at all’ get you to show us what you’re thinking about showing us?” Sasuke asked immediately.

“I think I’m a bad influence on you two,” Kakashi muttered. “Okay, did the Hokage tell you anything about…your condition, Sasuke?”

Sasuke tensed. “Just that they’d decided to discontinue the treatments, and if I try to use Itachi’s eyes I could pass out or die,” she answered in a monotone.

“So they didn’t tell you anything,” Kakashi summarized. “Okay. Well, I suppose the first thing I should say is that our situations are a little more similar than you know. When I lost my eye, my…teammate, Uchiha Obito gave me his instead.”

“Why?”

“He was dying,” Kakashi said, in a leave-it-alone tone of voice.

They left it alone. It was only fair to pay Kakashi the same courtesy he did them.

“The reason I keep the eye covered most of the time is that I can’t ‘turn it off,’ so it’s a constant drain on my chakra. Eventually, I pass out.”

“Like me,” Sasuke whispered.

“Exactly. Now, as a member of the Uchiha clan, you are better able to cope with the chakra drain from the Sharingan than I. However, what Itachi gave you is a more advanced form of the Sharingan called ‘Mangekyou Sharingan.’ It’s more powerful, but it also drains significantly more chakra. We were only able to find one reference to it in the Uchiha clan records. Apparently, Uchiha Madara—you’re familiar with the name?—possessed this ability, along with his brother, Izuna. Izuna wrote that the Mangekyou caused the eyes and body of the user to deteriorate, and theorized that a possible solution would be to take the eyes of another Mangekyou Sharingan user. Shortly after, he died of ‘mysterious circumstances.’”

“So Madara killed his brother and took his eyes.”

“Most likely. There’s no recorded evidence that Madara was blind or ill when he fought the Shodaime, and he certainly manifested abilities that no one has seen before or since.”

“So…why are you telling me this?”

“The Hokage thinks, and I agree, that the reason you passed out is because you simply didn’t have enough chakra reserves yet to support the enormous drain of this highly advanced technique.”

“But one day, when my chakra reserve is greater, I might see again,” Sasuke finished, breathlessly.

“ _Maybe_ ,” Kakashi stressed. “The Hokage didn’t want to tell you this until they were sure.”

“How would they know for sure unless I tested it?”

“I…don’t know. And anyway, you know now. You have the potential to wield ninjutsu like a true master of the Sharingan. If it doesn’t work this time, we’ll try again next year.”

The set of Sasuke’s jaw strongly suggested that if it didn’t work this time, it would be because she’d died trying.

“Whenever you’re ready.”

She took a deep breath and unwrapped her bandages. Slowly, she opened her eyes for the first time in almost three years.

Kakashi showed her an earth jutsu he knew that only used three hand seals. She copied it perfectly.

“Did you see that!?” Sasuke exclaimed, dancing in excitement. “I did it!”

Kakashi reached up and grabbed the back of her shirt, lifting her slightly off the ground so she was looking into his mismatched eyes. “Now listen closely, because I am definitely not taking responsibility for supervising all of your training. If you drain your chakra too much or too often, you could easily die or lose the ability to access chakra ever again. Don’t push this. I’ll give you a list of chakra strengthening exercises and the signs of chakra exhaustion, but it’s up to you to actually follow them. Most of the time, you’ll still be blind.”

“I understand.”

He gave her a not-so-little shake.

“Really, I get it! I’m not stupid, you know.”

He dropped her and she reluctantly wrapped the bandages back around her eyes.

“You might also want to think about how you intend to aim all that ninjutsu of yours.”

“I have an idea about that,” Neji volunteered. “I think we should add another training exercise. I can teach you about how I see, and I can tell you where to aim to the precise degree. For instance,” he took her arm and pointed it straight up, “this is zero by zero. It’s not perfect, but it’s better than nothing.”

“What do you get out of this training,” Sasuke asked suspiciously. She refused to accept any sort of charity.

“One of my specialties is observation. If I can practice reporting on what’s going on while I’m fighting without getting distracted from either task, it will make me a more useful member of the team.”

Kakashi was once again reluctantly impressed with their maturity. If only the last genin team he’d tested had been half as capable. Then again, thankfully those genin weren’t half as capable. He absolutely did not want to be a jounin-sensei.

~*~

Neji was called upon to perform increasingly pointless tasks for his clan about once a month. She insisted on going every time, though usually she ended up sitting in that same kitchen for hours while he attended to his duties. But she couldn’t stand the thought of him being alone in that horrible place. Neji thought that the first place she learned to find on her own outside their little apartment was the Academy, but actually it was this gloomy kitchen, because for this, he needed her.

She learned that the reason the route to the kitchen was so convoluted was because branch family members weren’t allowed to use the main doors without express permission. 

She learned that the lifeless docility was a necessary defense mechanism, and how to sit quietly while screams of agony pierced through the thin walls.

She learned that the reason the large Hyuuga clan could still fit so comfortably in this prime location was because each family didn’t have their own house—the branch family members slept in bunks like soldiers (or horses) and the main house had eleven bedrooms for three people.

And all the barked shins and awkwardness and boredom was completely worth it the first time he shed that muted shell the moment they turned their steps to home.

~*~

Sasuke and Neji were very mature for their age and took Kakashi’s warnings to heart. Mostly.

“It’s not fair that you don’t have access to any new Gentle Fist techniques,” Sasuke whispered, crawling up the slope of the roof. “Like it’s your fault that the Hokage assigned you to babysit the Uchiha cripple.”

“Just stop that,” Neji whispered back. “You’re not responsible for the Main Branch’s behavior. And have I mentioned that this is a bad idea?”

“Only a thousand times! If you think it’s such a bad idea, then why are you even here?”

“Because I knew you’d come anyway, and without me here you’ll definitely be caught.”

“Liar. You’re just as eager as I am.”

“We are going to be _executed_.”

“And what do you mean I would have gotten caught? I’ll have you know I—“

“Shh! I see someone!”

They both froze.

“Is it them?” Sasuke whispered after a moment, so softly she almost couldn’t hear herself.

“Yes,” he replied, just as softly. “Are you sure they can’t sense us?”

“You and I have both practiced shielding our chakra, and I’m more sensitive than most and I can’t sense you at all. Besides, why would they be looking?”

“This is such a bad idea.”

“Shut up and keep track of time. I think four minutes is the most I can stretch it.”

Neji began counting seconds on his fingers, feverishly scanning their surroundings with his Byakugan for any hint of detection.

Sasuke opened her eyes and focused her Mangekyou Sharingan on the two men sparring in the courtyard—Hiashi-sama and his regular training partner, a distant cousin of Neji’s he said was named Hoshi. She silently recorded their every move.


	4. Team Ten

Sasuke touched her brand new hitai-ate with a satisfied smile. She’d decided to wear it over her eyes instead of bandages, which left her eyes much more accessible in case of an emergency.

Sensei tried to fail her after her inability to produce a satisfactory Henge or Bunshin—her nii-san’s last gift to her wasn’t any of his business—but she kicked up a fuss until they let her pass. After all, Rock Lee passed and he couldn’t do _any_ of the three jutsu they were supposed to learn! She could produce an accurate Henge of anyone she knew well before losing her sight (so basically, her family or the Hokage) and she had made two Bunshin, sort of (Neji said they didn’t have faces and it was a little creepy. She retorted that she hadn’t known he could even do jutsu like regular people).

So now here she was, securely in the bottom half of the class, waiting to hear her genin team assignment. Neji had lost his number one rookie position to some idiot named Akio, but the only person who didn’t know that was solely due to sensei’s prejudice was Akio. Fortunately, after today she’d never have to put up with that useless jerk ever again.

“Team Nine will be Tenten, Rock Lee and Ito Toshi.”

Sasuke smiled and waved in the direction of Lee’s exuberant celebration. She liked Rock Lee, who was a little crazy but determined to overcome his “disadvantages” in a way she could definitely empathize with, and Tenten was all right for a girl. She didn’t know Toshi very well, but he seemed like a nice guy. She wished them the best.

She wasn’t too worried for herself. Kakashi had dropped by her apartment unsolicited for the first time since he came to introduce himself to congratulate them on passing and remind them that if anyone found out Sasuke knew ninjutsu, she didn’t learn it from him. He also assured them that the Hokage had insisted they be put on the same team.

“And Team Ten is Hyuuga Neji, Uchiha Sasuke, and Saito Akio.”

Dammit.

~*~

Their jounin-sensei was an older man with, Neji later confided, a proliferation of unfortunately-styled facial hair. His name was Kobayashi Yoshinori, and he didn’t like girls, weaklings, or ninja who couldn’t get their priorities in order.

This obviously included Sasuke, but for some reason he thought Neji was weak and misguided as well, which was just stupid. Akio, the suck-up, quoted the ninja rules verbatim and was immediately his bestest student ever.

Oh, and Yoshinori-sensei _hated_ Kakashi.

As a sensei, he was very strict. They met each morning at one of the training fields at dawn—always a different one, which made it very difficult for Sasuke—and ran through a “warm-up” of push-ups, sit-ups, running and basic kicking and punching drills.

Sasuke confounded him from the beginning by managing the runs with only a dozen or so stumbles, no matter how convoluted a route he took. She just followed the bright shine of Neji’s chakra and trusted him to avoid major obstacles like rocks and tree roots wherever possible. If she expended a bit of her chakra it helped her maintain her balance with the smaller obstacles. Her chakra sense was fairly reliable now when it came to people, but with trees it helped to be familiar with the area.

Then Yoshinori-sensei switched to randomly mixing up their morning routine, demonstrating the next activity instead of calling it out. This confounded her for a time until Neji came up with a system of pulsing his chakra in a particular way to indicate different actions. This was such a useful idea that she tried to do the same, but either his chakra pulses were somehow related to his Gentle Fist style or her ability to detect them was related to her abnormal sensitivity because they couldn’t make it work the other way.

They still snuck off to the ANBU barracks to tell Kakashi (he’d failed his team again) about their cool new technique and he was appropriately impressed. The uses of a private, inaudible, undetectable language on missions were innumerable.

Sasuke hated Yoshinori-sensei right from the start for deliberately excluding her for no good reason, but Neji was the type to let someone fight their own battles and wouldn’t have hated him just for that. However, Yoshinori-sensei was convinced that Neji had somehow faked his earlier success at the Academy, and was now “settling in” to a “more appropriate place” as a mere branch member.

So there was no love lost there either.

They ate breakfast as a team, completed two or three D-rank missions, depending on the difficulty, then split up for individual training, which was code for Yoshinori-sensei taking Akio somewhere for private tutoring and leaving the other two to fend for themselves.

That suited them just fine. They retreated to ‘their’ forest training area and divided their time between sparring in the Gentle Fist style and Sasuke throwing kunai, shuriken and the occasional ninjutsu at Neji to dodge or block. Neji could maintain his Heavenly Spin long enough to actually deflect projectiles, and Sasuke was familiar enough with the chakra pattern it produced to know when to stop throwing things. Then they settled in for an hour of ‘chakra awareness’ training, followed by one of Kakashi’s chakra strengthening exercises. 

Overall, they were pleased with their progress, and if no one else recognized it, they weren’t too concerned about other people’s opinions, anyway. They’d made genin, and Yoshinori-sensei wasn’t the one who decided if they deserved promotion to chuunin.

~*~

D-rank missions sucked. Sasuke wasn’t sure how it was even possible for Yoshinori-sensei to find so many things to criticize about these simple tasks. He had an idea of exactly how these missions should be accomplished, and any variation was the same as failure.

Weeding:

“The good plants have a thin, straight leaf, like this, and the weeds have a sort of feathery cluster, like this.”

“Right, thanks, Neji.”

“Stop petting the plants and get moving, Uchiha.”

“Yes, sensei.”

Dog-walking:

“I ask you one time not to walk around in each other’s back pockets, and what do I get? Tardiness!”

“I was lost, sensei…”

“You can apologize to the client tomorrow, Uchiha.”

Trash pick-up:

“What is this, Uchiha? Your bag is completely empty!”

…and so on.

When they did succeed, he treated it as a given that any competent human could have done something so basic. Or that they should have done better.

Finding Tora:

“I picked up a foreign chakra signature pretty quickly and Neji was able to spot her in a nearby tree. Akio set a trap and after that it was easy.”

“With the Byakugan I expected it would take much less time. But I suppose one can only expect so much.”

Babysitting:

“Well, I suppose they’re alive.”

Painting:

“Don’t get excited, it’s just a fence. Next time we’ll try something with wainscoting.”

Even Akio started to get a little discouraged. But at least he got some kind of praise during all those private lessons.

~*~

“I’m not convinced you’re ready, but it’s getting a little embarrassing how far behind you lot are.”

Neji grit his teeth.

“Today we’re going to start learning the most basic chakra control technique: tree-climbing. The key to mastering any new jutsu is to discover it for yourself, not depend on the experience of others. I’ll show you once, but I expect you to master it on your own.”

Sasuke growled low in her throat. She could _feel_ the smug satisfaction radiating off the man. No matter, she and Neji had developed several strategies for dealing with him. “Is this a jutsu?” she asked.

“No,” he said, sounding annoyed. He always got annoyed when they asked questions. He launched into an explanation about how this was a ‘technique’ not a ‘jutsu’ that she quickly tuned out. All she cared about was that it wouldn’t do any good to try and copy it with her Sharingan.

Neji let his hair fall into his face and surreptitiously activated his Byakugan. He watched as Yoshinori-sensei gathered chakra in his feet, maintaining it at a consistent level as he walked calmly up the tree trunk. There was some kind of…interaction between his chakra and the tree. It didn’t look that complicated.

“Well, I’ll come and get you for a mission this afternoon. We’ll halve our number of missions until every one of you masters this technique.”

It was Neji’s turn to growl. Once he’d started earning money from missions, he’d insisted on paying his share of the food and rent for their apartment instead of just living off Sasuke’s inheritance. One mission a day wouldn’t cover it.

Sasuke touched his arm. “We’ll figure it out.”

“As if,” Akio said snidely, shamelessly eavesdropping. “You two weirdos can’t do anything right.”

That banished any lingering feelings of guilt over not sharing their insights into this new technique with their teammate. Fortunately, Yoshinori-sensei wasn’t nearly as concerned about teamwork as, say, Kakashi.

“Well, we can just watch you,” Sasuke said, smirking.

“Like you could watch anything. And I’m going way over there where this Hyuuga can’t see me either.” Akio marched off noisily.

After a minute, Neji laughed quietly.

“What?”

“I can still see him.”

“Whatever, like he’d have any good ideas, anyway. What do we need to do?”

“The trick is to channel chakra into your feet. There was something significant about the point of contact with the tree that I couldn’t quite make out…why don’t you channel as much chakra in your feet as you can and I’ll see what happens.”

“Okay.”

Seconds later, she was rubbing her backside and cursing Neji’s stupid ideas.

“If it’s any consolation, I think I’ve got it now,” Neji said, not sounding at all apologetic. “You have to match your chakra output to the tree’s, then maintain it. His chakra output never varied the entire time he was climbing, so that part must be very important.”

“And finding the right level in the first place,” Sasuke complained, gingerly feeling the cracked bark around where she’d planted her foot. “Is the tree even still standing?”

“Stop whining. This should be easy for you with your sensitive chakra-sense,” Neji pointed out. 

“Well, yes, but…is it the same level for each tree? I mean, does the species matter?” 

“How should I know?”

“Well, let’s try it and see.”

They spent the rest of the morning running up and down different types of trees while Neji tried to compare the extremely subtle differences in chakra output. Sasuke helped him determine how much chakra to use and he alerted her when her chakra started to get out of balance until they got the hang of it. The most difficult part was that it drained a lot of chakra; without Kakashi’s strengthening exercises they could never have kept it up for so long.

It took Akio another three days to master the technique, much to his fury.

Yoshinori-sensei lectured them for helping each other instead of working it out on their own.

~*~

Eventually, the Hokage began to question why they were still sticking to D-rank missions and they were assigned a simple, C-rank escort mission. The client, a rug merchant, wanted some extra protection from bandits as he took his wares to Grass Country.

Neji took rear guard with his “adequate” Byakugan while Akio and Yoshinori-sensei scouted ahead. Sasuke was assigned to making nice with the rug merchant’s wife. 

It was boring. There was no other way to put it.

Bandits attacked twice, and Sasuke was not allowed to fight either time. Neji was able to report that Akio was competent enough, especially since he came from a civilian family, but so far nothing special.

But mostly she sat, and chatted, and was fussed over for her “delicateness, the poor dear.”

Two steps across the border they were ambushed by Grass nin.

It might have been okay, but they attacked right when Akio and Yoshinori-sensei were at their furthest from the caravan. 

Sasuke sensed them only seconds after Neji saw them, so when he called out a warning she was already tumbling out of the cart and taking a defensive position in front of the client’s wife…whose name she still didn’t know.

“Six ninja,” Neji reported, appearing on her left. 

“I’d say four genin-level, one chuunin and one jounin,” she supplied.

“Well, this should be interesting.”

“Quite.”

“Keep those eyes covered; if you pass out we’re both in trouble.”

“We don’t actually have to beat them, just hold them off until Akio and sensei return.”

He grabbed her shoulder and turned her sharply to the left. “Fireball, now!”

She didn’t hesitate. “Katon: Goukakyou no Jutsu!”

Furious cursing suggested a direct hit, but that the enemy wasn’t incapacitated yet.

The two Leaf genin stayed back-to-back, rotating so he could engage the nearest opponents with taijutsu and she could maximize the damage with her ninjutsu attacks. 

When she was facing the caravan and it just wasn’t safe to use fire jutsu she attacked with a random mix of Gentle Fist and standard Academy taijutsu that Neji said was confusing as hell. Not in those exact words, but she understood his meaning.

An extra strong pulse of chakra sent her diving under the earth in the first earth jutsu Kakashi ever taught her, just in time to beat Neji’s Heavenly Spin. She strained her senses, and the moment the jutsu ended she broke back out, punching an enemy ninja in the jaw as she did.

They actually managed to hold their own against the four genin for several minutes, but then the other two decided to stop sitting around and join the fight. Sasuke sensed the chakra build up and reached for her hitai-ate, but it was too late.

A huge wall burst out of the ground between her and Neji, sending them flying in opposite directions. She misjudged the distance to the ground and landed badly, twisting her ankle. Somewhere far away, she sensed another Heavenly Spin. He could only do it three times in one day without resting—they needed to do something quickly.

She breathed in for another fireball jutsu and something struck her across the back of the head, knocking her unconscious.

~*~

She woke slowly, head aching.

There were six chakra signatures within twenty meters, probably the same grass nin that ambushed her…earlier? Yesterday? How long had she been unconscious?

She couldn’t sense any of her teammates, which could be good or bad. If the whole point of the ambush was to capture her, maybe Neji was still alive.

On the other hand, she was now all alone.

“Ah, she’s awake.”

Perhaps not as alone as she might have hoped. 

Someone kicked her sharply in the kidneys, and Sasuke clenched her teeth together to keep from making a sound. Pain meant alive, and alive meant possible escape. She strained her senses, trying to get a feel for the terrain, but all she could sense was that there were no trees nearby. She might even be on the edge of a cliff for all she could tell.

This was not good. It had been a long time she felt this particular helplessness because of her blindness.

“Well, well. The Last Uchiha.”

So not good.

“Our leader thinks we can get a whole clan out of you. About time Konoha got a taste of its own medicine.”

It took her a moment to process this. “WHAT!? No way!”

“It’ll be easier if you cooperate, girl, but it’s not really necessary.”

To her great shame, she whimpered a little.

“And I wouldn’t hold out hope for rescue, girl. Your teammates left to finish their mission days ago.”

Her mind went blank.

“We were afraid you weren’t going to wake up for a while there. Too bad for you, you did.”

Inwardly, fear warred with fury. Sasuke could recite the ninja rules as well as any genin, and she knew the mission came first. But it was different for a jounin-sensei, and the mission was almost done anyway, and Neji must either be dead or tied up because she knew he would never abandon her like this…

“How much further to base?” someone asked.

“Another day,” the guy who’d been talking to her answered. “Hear that, girl? We’re almost there.”

If she was going to do something, she had to do something _now_. It would be much harder to escape from a “base” and their plans for her were just too horrible to contemplate. Best case scenario she spent her life being cloned in a lab somewhere. Worst case scenario…

She’d rather die.

Carefully, she tested the ropes around her wrists. Sloppy work; and since the escape jutsu was one where being blind made no difference, it was one she knew well. However, even if she did get the ropes off, how would she get away?

None of her ninjutsu had had any noticeable effect on this lot, and that was her greatest strength. And she would have to seriously incapacitate or kill all of them somehow because it would be a slow, stumbling journey back to Fire Country with a sore ankle and no idea where she was.

She’d have to use her Mangekyou Sharingan. She concentrated on the sensation of her hitai-ate on her face, and to her relief it didn’t seem they’d secured it in any way.

Very, very sloppy. 

As surreptitiously as possible, she wriggled out of her bonds. She couldn’t tell if any of the ninja were facing her, but she waited until there were none within two meters and decided it would just have to do.

When she was finally free, she took a deep breath and jumped to her feet, pushing up her hitai-ate.

“Wha—?” someone said.

Even though it had been more than a year since Kakashi’s revelation, she still took delight in every chance she had to _see_ again, even if the Sharingan painted the world in a red haze. But now wasn’t the time to dwell on that.

“Please…do something!” she pleaded, focusing all of her chakra into her eyes. If Madara could manifest all those extraordinary abilities, surely she could have just one?

She started to feel very…peculiar. Chakra exhaustion already?

The enemy ninja looked afraid. Or at least she thought they did; her skills in reading facial expressions had slipped somewhat in recent years. Was something happening?

She blinked suddenly heavy lids, staring down at her hands. And now she was…seeing double…?

She didn’t remember anything after that.

~*~

“Wake up. Dammit, wake the hell up this instant or so help me, I’ll—“

“’S not very nice,” Sasuke slurred. “Can’t I stay home just this once, Mom?”

“You little idiot. Do I sound like someone’s mom?”

Sasuke opened her eyes but saw only darkness. For a moment she panicked, then memory came rushing back to her. Then she really panicked. She tried to sit up, but her limbs wouldn’t respond and her head felt like it was about to crack open and spill her brains out onto the ground.

“Easy, now. You’re safe. You have chakra exhaustion—I warned you about that. But your chakra pathways seem undamaged, so it looks like you got lucky…this time.”

That triggered another memory. “K—Kakashi? What are you doing here?”

“When your team returned without you, I came to find you.”

“Really?”

“Of course. Say, do you know where all this fire came from? Nothing I’ve tried has put it out.”

“Don’t remember…a fire…”

“Well, I’m sure I’ll think of something. Go to sleep now. I’ve got you.”

~*~

Sasuke recovered from her adventure, though neither she nor Neji forgave Yoshinori-sensei for not even trying to save her. The team co-existed—barely—until a reprieve arrived in the form of the chuunin exam.

“You’ve completed more than twice the required number of missions and mastered the basic chakra control techniques expected of any genin,” Yoshinori-sensei began, which was the nicest thing he’d ever said to them. “But there’s more to being a chuunin than just that. Chuunin are squad leaders; as such, they need to be intimately familiar with their own abilities and the abilities of their subordinates. As such, though I’ve decided to nominate all of you for the exam, I want each of you to carefully examine your own—“

He never got to finish his sentence as all three genin jumped for the permission forms. Neji showed Sasuke where she needed to sign.

Yoshinori-sensei scowled but, once the nomination was in, there really wasn’t anything he could do. Everyone was a genin once; they’d learn the same as everybody else.

~*~

The exam was held in Suna that year, which, according to the more experienced genin, meant it would be extra hard. For once, all three genin on Team Ten were united behind a common goal, even if it was just to show Yoshinori-sensei that they weren’t as pathetic as he thought they were.

The first part was a scavenger hunt. They’d barely gotten through the gates of Suna before all the genin were turned straight back around with a list of items to find in the desert, from a dwarf cactus (whole) to an egg from a blue-spotted lizard. They had three days.

Oh, and squads of sand ninja would be patrolling the desert to make sure the heat exhaustion didn’t get them, though if you had to be carried out it was an automatic forfeit.

Akio gained a new appreciation for his teammates as they continuously and effectively scanned the area for incoming ninja (this was supposed to be a search and retrieval challenge, not a free-for-all, but plenty of the teams were quite willing to complete their lists using someone else’s handiwork), and Neji used his keen eyes to find even the most elusive item on their list. He even found one of the eggs three feet inside a wall of solid rock. Akio felt positively superfluous as he took his turn chipping away at the rock with an increasingly blunt kunai—they didn’t want to risk breaking the egg using a jutsu.

Their team stumbled back into Suna with twelve hours still to go, the first team non-sand team to return. They gratefully rolled out their blankets and collapsed, waking reluctantly what seemed only moments later for the second exam.

Sand nin must really love the desert, because here they were again. This time, they had five days to cross to some random corner of the dessert, retrieve a flag, and cross the finish line with flag in hand. 

Thirty teams started the exam, and there were only twelve flags.

The path to the flags was almost insultingly well-marked; obviously, they were more interested in the free-for-all battle than desert survival skills this time around.

Sasuke had a hard time running in the sand, with all its sudden dips and rises, so they quickly abandoned the most obvious strategy: getting to a flag before the other teams.

“It’s a dumb strategy anyway,” Akio said. “Then all the other teams will be after you. It’s better to camp out on the route back and steal a flag.”

He turned out to be a genjutsu specialist, so they plotted out how to snare the enemy and set up a bunch of more conventional traps around a rocky outcropping not too far from the finish line, but not so close they would be easily discovered by other teams trying to set up an ambush.

The first team they caught had the same idea as them, so no flag. It didn’t make sense to let them go and have them take a flag or ruin the trap, but they certainly didn’t want to kill them either. Finally, Akio put them under his longest-lasting genjutsu and they tied them up as securely as they knew how.

Most of the test was spent trying to keep the other team contained and trying to find enough food and water to keep all six of them alive.

When another team finally stumbled into their trap three days later, it was almost too easy. They sat and stared off into space as Neji walked up and snatched the flag straight out of the girl’s slack grip.

“Well,” he said.

“Guess we should go,” Akio said.

“I already untied our friends,” Sasuke said, emerging from their temporary shelter. “Judging by the last few days, they should wake up in another two hours or so. We’ll be long gone by then.”

They encountered no one for the first half of the trip back, but they didn’t let up their tense guard for a second. This was, after all, the most logical place for an ambush.

Finally—

“There!” Neji shouted, just as not three, but six other genin burst out of the sand in front of them. “Two teams!?”

“Hey, did the rules say anything about the whole team needing to get across the finish line?” Sasuke asked.

“Um, no?”

“Who’s the fastest runner?”

Neji threw the flag at Akio. “What are you…Akio, down!”

“Katon: Goukakyou no Jutsu!”

As the massive fireball dissipated, Akio took off running.

The six foreign genin dug themselves out of the sand, cursing, and took off after him.

“Okay over there?” Neji asked.

“Fine. I just used up a lot of my chakra with that jutsu.”

“It did seem bigger than I remember. And it doesn’t help that we’ve been running around in the desert for almost a week without much by way of food or water.”

“I said I’m _fine_.”

He stepped up in front of her and pulled her arms around his neck. “Just this once. I promise I won’t tell.”

She laughed softly and tightened her grip. He lifted her up onto his back and headed for the finish line.

~*~

They were the fifth team to bring a flag, so they had another brief rest before the third and final exam was announced.

“This portion will be one-on-one combat,” a sand chuunin announced.

“Like a tournament?” someone asked.

“Not exactly. You’ll each be paired off, and the winner of each fight will have the chance to become a chuunin based on their performance. The loser definitely fails.”

“What?”

“But that’s not fair!”

“Shut up!” the chuunin yelled over the protests. “Being a ninja is not about being fair! Only through overcoming adversity and becoming the best you can possibly be will you succeed as a ninja! Each of these tests is designed to pit you against one another. You may have noticed that some teams did not have all three members make it through the first parts of the exam. You can’t let anything hold you back from achieving your full potential!”

Akio was nodding, but Kakashi was still Neji and Sasuke’s favorite adult and he would have called bullshit on that in a second. He’d run all the way to Grass Country to save Sasuke when she wasn’t even his student.

“Different village, different ways,” Neji said with a shrug.

“Apparently.”

The matches were apparently a big deal, because the genin soon found themselves in some kind of arena which was packed full of spectators. The first two competitors cheerfully beat the hell out of each other for the crowd. 

Sasuke and Neji waited in a special section of the stands designated for the competitors. He spent most of the first few matches narrating the action at a half-shout so she could hear him over the noise of the crowd.

Injuries were common, and one poor girl was killed during her match—to thunderous applause. 

“They weren’t kidding about Suna being tough,” Sasuke said, shaking her head.

Neji didn’t say anything.

“Neji?” She automatically put a hand out, but he was still standing only a few inches away. “Are you okay?”

“I’m up,” he said. “They just posted my name.”

“Okay. Who are you fighting?”

“You.”

She numbly let him take her hand and pull her into the arena.

“This is stupid,” he said, angrily. “Now there’s no way we can both pass.”

Somewhere, an official told them to start.

“Don’t yell at me, I didn’t make the rules,” Sasuke protested.

“This isn’t a fair test. Our greatest strength is as a team,” he insisted.

“My greatest strength, you mean. _You_ will make a great chuunin, all on your own.”

“But that’s just what I’m saying—chuunin almost never fight alone! That’s why we’ve been training for years to develop strategies to _work together_.”

“Yeah, but _I’m_ the one who doesn’t have a chance in hell of passing without _you_. And even if I _did_ pass, I wouldn’t be much use without you, anyway.”

“Stop moping.”

“I do have valuable skills, but I’m not one of those ninja who can work solo. Who designed this stupid test, anyway?”

“Are you two going to fight or what?” the official demanded.

Neji raised his hand. “I forfeit.”


	5. Team Seven

“I still can’t believe—“

“It was my choice to make—“

Mouse depressed the intercom button. “Dog-san, your kids are here.”

She ignored the squabbling pair and looked for a magazine to pretend to read. Watching Kakashi’s half-assed attempts at mentoring was always entertaining.

He burst through the door and shot her a dirty look, which she pretended not to see, then took a small step back at seeing his mature, obedient, teamwork-oriented sometime-charges on the verge of attacking each other.

He considered just leaving.

“Kakashi!” they both yelled.

If he could just get to the door…

“You won’t believe what he—“

“She’s being completely unreasonable—“

He sighed. He had no one to blame but himself for this mess. “Both of you, shut the hell up. Sit down.” He shoved them both into chairs when they were too slow to comply. “Now, one at a time. Why are you even here? Aren’t you supposed to be in Suna for the chuunin exam?”

“We were; the exam’s over now,” Neji answered shortly.

“And…you didn’t do well?” Kakashi guessed. Dammit, he wasn’t good with kids!

Mouse snorted behind her magazine.

“We were awesome,” Sasuke said bluntly. “We scored in the top 50% of the teams in the first and second parts of the exam.”

“Okay…” Kakashi was seized with a sudden, horrifying thought. Was this some kind of…girl problem?

“And _then_ …!”

“I forfeited in the tournament portion,” Neji said calmly.

Kakashi breathed what was possibly an ill-timed a sigh of relief. “I’m still not seeing what the big deal is.”

“We were set against each other in the tournament and he _forfeited_. He doesn’t think I can handle myself!”

“I told you that’s not why I forfeited! That official had it wrong—there’s much more to being a ninja than individual achievement. We’re of more use to Konoha as a team; if I hadn’t forfeited, we would have been split up!“

“I don’t want you to hold yourself back for me! You deserved to graduate top of the class and you deserved to become a chuunin last week!”

Neji laughed bitterly. “This isn’t all about you! Didn’t you ever wonder why I came to live with you in the first place? You’ve seen my clan compound; it’s not like I had nowhere else to go! My uncle _gave_ me to you, like a _dog_ , because he wanted something from the Hokage! He used to _punish_ me when I did well at the Academy, because he didn’t want a branch family upstart outshining the main family! So the fact that you think I deserve these things is enough to make it worth giving them up for you!”

“Oh,” Sasuke said in a small voice.

Neji tried to regain control of his wild breathing. He didn’t have a lot of experience with losing his temper like that.

“Well, you could have just said that in the first place,” Sasuke said finally, recovering some of her usual fire. “I told you how I couldn’t do this without you, you big doofus. You’re such a boy, sometimes.”

“So…are we done fighting, now?”

“You wish. The next chuunin exam is only a few months away, and your ass needs kicking.”

“If I could make an alternative suggestion, I had an idea about that fireball jutsu …”

They left, deep in discussion over how hot a fire would have to burn to turn sand to glass.

Kakashi was frozen in place, eyes wide. “What…what just happened!?”

He was still recovering when the Hokage summoned him to his office a few hours later.

“I’d like to request a long-term mission,” Kakashi said immediately.

“Well, that’s an interesting coincidence, because I was just about to suggest a particular genin team I’d like you to train this year. Long-term.”

“Hokage-sama, it’s very clear to me that I’m totally unsuited to be a jounin-sensei.”

“Hmm. That’s not what Mouse seems to think.”

Kakashi plotted the many, many ways he could kill her and leave no trace.

“You may not be aware of this, but only one Konoha ninja passed the chuunin exams this year: young Saito Akio. Yoshinori has put in a request that his two failed candidates be put back into the genin pool for team selection instead of choosing someone to replace Akio. It’s unusual, but not unheard of.”

“Yoshinori’s too hidebound to appreciate their unique styles.”

“Indeed. I’d hoped that he would be able to overcome his prejudices and that having such a traditional instructor would raise the standing of those two in the eyes of the village, but…alas, it didn’t quite work out that way. Actually, they sent a letter in support of his decision not to continue as their jounin-sensei with a most scathing report on his inadequacies as both an instructor and a ninja. It’s quite thorough. That’s why this time, I’ve chosen a more…unconventional jounin-sensei.”

“No way. I’m _especially_ unqualified to handle them.”

“You seem to have done quite well raising them so far.”

“I’m not _raising_ them. I teach them dangerous techniques far beyond their age and let them raise themselves. It doesn’t get much more irresponsible than that.”

“Well, whatever you’re doing, you’ve turned out two fine ninja.”

“I had nothing to do with it.”

“Besides, I think you’ll be interested to see who the third genin will be.”

“I don’t think—really, Hokage-sama? That’s hardly fair.”

“No one got to be Hokage by being fair, Kakashi. Now get over to the Academy, they’re probably wondering if their new jounin-sensei fell in a ditch somewhere. I’ll file your paperwork to transfer out of ANBU tonight.”

~*~

Neji and Sasuke were thrilled at the prospect of having Kakashi as their new jounin-sensei. Not even imagining what his devious and sadistic mind would consider a “survival test” could dampen their spirits.

Well used to his antics, they brought blankets and napped while they waited in one of the training fields for him to turn up. Their new teammate, the exuberant and loud-mouthed Uzumaki Naruto, who Sasuke vaguely remembered from her life Before, snored against a tree.

The sun was high in the sky when Sasuke sensed his approach. She elbowed Neji. “Incoming.”

Poor Naruto was the only one surprised when Kakashi materialized right in front of them.

“Yaah!”

“Sleeping on the job?”

“Maybe if you weren’t so late, I’d still be awake!” Naruto yelled.

“You see, there was this old lady who needed help with her groceries—“

“What kind of ridiculous excuse is that!?”

“Well, shall we get started? This test is very simple. Try to take these bells from me before noon. Whoever doesn’t have a bell by then goes straight back to the Academy!”

“But…” Naruto’s confusion was audible, “there are only two bells!”

“Thank you for pointing that out. Since there are only two, no matter what, one of you will definitely be going back to the Academy!”

“What!? Why even bother to have a graduation, huh? This is the lamest test ever!”

“Now, now, this test is a cherished Konoha tradition. I’m interested to see what you three make of it. Begin!”

Neji seized Sasuke’s hand and pulled her into the trees at a run. Once they were safely hidden, he activated his Byakugan and looked for Kakashi.

“He’s that way,” Sasuke volunteered, pointing.

“I see him.”

“So, what do you think? He knows what happened in Suna; there’s no way his goal here is to split us up _again_. Or if it is, I’ll think of something really embarrassing to do to him.”

“I agree. Nothing is more important to him than teamwork, but this test seems designed to pit us against each other.”

“Well, who knows what motivates him? We could waste all day trying to decipher his meaning, if there even is one. For all we know he invented this test on the walk over here. We might as well start by getting the bells. We’ll have to work together, obviously, since annoying as he is Kakashi is still one hell of a ninja. And…what is Naruto doing? His chakra signature is getting closer to Kakashi’s.”

“It looks like…they’re fighting. Well, Naruto is fighting, Kakashi is reading that perverted trash he loves so much and driving Naruto into a frenzy with his Irritating no Jutsu.”

“So, business as usual then. What was Naruto thinking?”

“How should I know? You were his classmate for a while, you tell me.”

“All I remember is that he’s really loud and likes to goof off. Oh, and he loves ramen.”

“That was certainly critical information.”

“Well, it’s more than you have to offer.”

“I can tell you that his taijutsu is terrible…and that Kakashi just threw him in the lake. In the most awkward way possible. Come on, we can’t just leave him there.”

They burst out of the trees, trying to provide a distraction while Naruto flailed his way out of the water.

Neji’s taijutsu was, in Sasuke’s unbiased opinion, the best in Konoha, so she let him handle that. I sounded like he was having some degree of success….until dozens of copies of Naruto burst out of the water and swept both combatants away in a tide of enthusiasm. What kind of jutsu _was_ that? They weren’t like any clones she’d ever seen.

Obviously not a very effective one, as the probably-clones were furiously attacking each other only a few seconds later.

“I think we need to change our plan from ‘rescue Naruto and enlist his help’ to ‘compensate for Naruto,’” Sasuke observed from her position well out of line of fire. “Or possibly ‘use Naruto as a distraction.’”

Naruto finally stopped attacking himself just in time for Kakashi to appear behind him. “Second shinobi battle skill: genjutsu.”

“Sasuke? Your turn.”

“Right.”

She didn’t manage to get there in time to keep Naruto from being caught in the genjutsu, but at least Kakashi didn’t have too much time to design his mental torment. “Visual genjutsu won’t work on me, sensei.”

“Well then, let’s see what you’ve got.”

She barely ducked in time when he came in with a high punch. She _knew_ he could use other kinds of genjutsu, what was he up to? She struggled to block his attacks while remaining aware of the terrain, but after a particularly vicious combination she fell over Naruto, who was rolling around and screaming about spiders stealing his ramen.

…what the hell?

Neji swept in and yanked her back by the hood of her shirt. There was an audible thud as Kakashi’s kick hit Naruto instead, who howled and snapped out of the genjutsu. “Wait…what’s goin’ on? Where’d the ramen go?”

The others ignored him.

“And the third shinobi battle skill: ninjutsu.”

“Sasuke?”

“Ready.”

After their years of training together, they could move like a single unit; she supplied the power and he called out the technique and adjusted her aim as needed. “Fire, now! Earth wall! Fire again!”

Until, of course—“Naruto, get out of the way!”

At Neji’s warning, she pulled back her fireball at the last second, narrowly missing Naruto. He didn’t miss, though, and all three went rolling down a hill and into the lake. Kakashi started laughing.

An alarm went off, signaling that their time was up.

Singed, damp and annoyed, the new Team Seven sat pointedly not speaking to each other while Kakashi cheerfully tied Naruto to a log. “None of you managed to even touch the bells, but I think Naruto is definitely the weakest link here.”

Naruto growled.

“Do you want to know why you failed?” He didn’t wait for an answer. “Sasuke, Neji—you’ve known each other for what, five years now? Your teamwork is excellent. But you can’t seem to remember that this isn’t a team of just the two of you—Naruto, and later me as well, need to be factored into your plans. Naruto, you tried to do everything by yourself and didn’t even speak to your teammates once during this whole exercise.”

They all hung their heads.

“However—any true ninja needs to be able to see underneath the underneath. I’ll give you one more chance, but this time it will be harder than ever to take the bells. Don’t let Naruto have any lunch, he’s in timeout.” He disappeared.

“He is so irritating sometimes,” Sasuke muttered. “What does that even mean?”

“I suppose if we’re going to all work together, we should learn more about each other,” Neji said, ignoring her accurate but pointless commentary. “And not like those stupid introductions yesterday.”

“Yeah, I don’t remember seeing either of you before,” Naruto said.

“I was in your class for two years,” Sasuke said, a bit irritated.

“Well…I don’t really pay attention to girls much, except Sakura-chan!”

“Sasuke and I have been in the class ahead of you for years, so it isn’t surprising that we don’t know each other,” Neji interrupted quickly.

“So…why are we on the same team then?”

“We’ve actually been genin for over a year already, but we…didn’t pass the chuunin exam, so now we’re back and trying again,” Sasuke said defensively, daring him to comment on their failure.

He didn’t, though. 

“I’m a taijutsu specialist in the Gentle Fist Style,” Neji said, “and I can use my Byakugan to see everything around me within 50 meters. I don’t really use ninjutsu or genjutsu, though I could if I really had to.”

“I know a few ninjutsu, and my taijutsu is about average, though I blend two different styles so the unpredictability can work to my advantage. I’m blind, obviously, so I have difficulty with unfamiliar ground and I can’t use genjutsu at all. I can sense chakra, though, so I can find people easily enough.”

They turned expectantly to Naruto. 

“Oh, I, uh, I know the Kage Bunshin no Jutsu, and I’m great at pranking. Haha, and I _never_ get caught…well, except by Iruka-sensei...”

They waited. “Is that it?”

“Oh! I invented a jutsu!”

“What’s it do?”

“Heheh. It’s a type of henge, where I turn into a naked chick.”

“…why would you ever need something like that?”

“Hey, it works great on old guys!”

Neji made a skeptical sound. “Whatever. Your taijutsu is sloppy and you fell for a basic genjutsu. It sounds like you don’t know any ninjutsu.”

“Hey! I’m a great ninja!”

“However, you have a great deal of power and stamina, and I’ve never seen one person make so many shadow clones. That’s a jounin-level technique, which means you must have enormous chakra reserves. Sasuke?”

“He really, really does. If I didn’t know you and Kakashi so well his chakra signature probably would have kept me from noticing them. It’s kind of like holding a candle up to the sun. I’m actually pretty embarrassed that I fell over him earlier.”

“What, really?” Naruto asked, completely shocked.

“He’s like that even compared to Kakashi?”

“Yeah. I bet he’s not even tired, even after making all those clones.”

“Not really,” Naruto confirmed. 

“So basically, you have this huge potential that you’re not using effectively,” Neji summarized. “We don’t really have time to solve that right now. We can use the shadow clones as a diversion, and see what else you can do with all that chakra when we’re a real team.”

“Uh…I should tell you…I graduated at the bottom of my class at the Academy. After failing three times,” Naruto mumbled, sounding extremely embarrassed. 

“Well, you’re definitely on the right team then. The way they teach at the Academy didn’t really work for us either, so Neji and I came up with training strategies on our own to fit our own styles.”

“Huh?”

“We—“

Naruto’s stomach growled loudly, and not for the first time.

Sasuke huffed. “Here, eat something. This is ridiculous.”

“But Kakashi-sensei said—“

“Oh, don’t listen to him. We’ve known him forever and he’s always coming up with arbitrary rules like this for no reason. You’ll be more useful if you’re not thinking about how hungry you are. Besides, he’s not even here.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure,” Kakashi announced, appearing out of nowhere.

“Yaaahhh!” Naruto yelled. To his irritation, his new teammates once again failed to be surprised by the jounin’s sudden appearance.

“Well, it looks like you’ve managed to act like a team after all. And aside from a few uncalled for disparagements of my character, your assessments of your and each other’s abilities were surprisingly accurate.”

“…and?”

“And I suppose it would be interesting to see what kind of team the three of you will make. So…against my better judgment…you pass.” 

~*~

Team training was…interesting. After the third time he arrived to find a destroyed training field and three singed, bruised and exhausted genin, Kakashi began showing up nearly on time in self-defense—much to his displeasure.

He suspended all three of them over a waterfall until they swore not to tell any of the other ninja that they’d managed what even the Hokage couldn’t with years of effort. He had a reputation to uphold, after all.

“Wow, you really don’t know anything besides the Kage Bunshin no Jutsu,” Neji observed, about a week after they first became a team.

Naruto sputtered. “You think you’re so good, huh? Well, watch this!”

Kakashi sighed.

Shadow clones filled the training field—again—and Neji used his taijutsu to dispel them—again. Sasuke had to take a break from ninjutsu and had to resort to taijutsu. She knew she wasn’t pulling her weight, but she was tired! Where did Naruto get all this energy? It was frustrating to have to rely on Neji so heavily, but she had taken out a whole bunch of clones wither her ninjutsu earlier, so she wasn’t completely useless.

It took a little longer, but soon Neji and Sasuke were standing victorious for the…fifth? sixth?...time that day, no shadow clones in sight and Naruto still not having managed to land a meaningful hit.

“We’re really not getting anywhere with this teamwork thing,” Kakashi observed dryly. “Neji, Sasuke—you have once again managed to forget that you’re supposed to all be fighting each other, not double-teaming Naruto. And Neji, pointing out Naruto’s weaknesses is not helpful unless you have something constructive to follow it up with. Naruto…I know they’re not making it easy, but you’re not trying to work with them, either. And you could at least _try_ a different technique.”

The three genin remained stubbornly silent.

“Look…Neji, Sasuke, your codependency is way beyond healthy levels.”

“Like you’re one to talk, sensei. At least we’re codependent on someone who’s still alive.”

Kakashi raised an eyebrow.

“When we realized that your chronic tardiness extended to official team training and missions, we wondered where you went all the time. So we followed you one day.”

“I didn’t notice you,” Kakashi said, reluctantly impressed. He couldn’t really be annoyed—nosiness was part of being a ninja.

“We didn’t have to get very close for me to see you,” Neji said, completely failing at anything approaching modesty.

“And we have a lot of practice shielding our chakra signatures,” Sasuke added. “Since I spend so much time learning to detect them, we figured it would only be a small step to practicing concealing them.”

“Is there anything else you can do that I should know about?”

“You’ve seen everything else at this point.”

“And I would love to hear the story of how Sasuke’s taijutsu acquired so many elements of the Gentle Fist style, but we’ll save that for later. Go have lunch and meet back here for our mission at two. And tomorrow, _I’m_ coming up with the training plan.”

That was…ominous.


	6. Teammates

The next day, Kakashi showed up for team training exactly on time with a bright smile.

Naruto edged away. Neji was too dignified to do the same, but he wanted to. Sasuke wondered why the atmosphere was so tense.

“All right, then! Neji, Naruto—you two are going to work on taijutsu together. We’ll spend half the time doing drills, then free sparring.”

“How is that different from—”

“Quiet!” The grin turned up a few notches.

Neji caught himself leaning back slightly.

“Naruto, I want you to practice using different numbers of shadow clones. I’ve noticed that when you try to drown us in hundreds of clones, they behave automatically, like normal clones, but when you only make a dozen or so, they seem more, hmm…independent? Anyway, since that’s your best skill, we should see what all you can do with it. We’ll work on teaching you new jutsu another day. Neji, as a taijutsu specialist you can always benefit from more drills, and your goal is not to lose to Naruto.”

Neji scoffed. Naruto glared at him.

“What about me?” Sasuke asked.

“While these two get started with drills, I’m going to take you to a random spot in the woods. Your training for the day is to find your way back.”

“What?” she demanded.

“What?” Neji echoed.

“The only way to deal with this codependency is to split you up. You are a capable ninja; this is something you need to know. I know that you’ve already been separated from your team at least once—“ she winced at the reminder of that terrible mission to Grass Country “—so you know it’s a possibility.”

“Yes, sensei.”

“Now if everyone is quite done questioning my orders…? Get started boys, I’ll be back in half an hour.”

~*~

That night, Sasuke stumbled back to her apartment at some ungodly hour. 

“Kakashi-sensei finally came to find me,” she complained bitterly, trailing a hand along the wall as she made straight for the refrigerator. “I’m so hungry…”

She rummaged around for a minute before tilting her head, assessing the quality of her roommate’s silence. 

“And how was _your_ day?”

Neji made a low sound in the back of his throat.

“That sounds serious. Did Naruto…he didn’t…beat you?” 

He made another, distinctly irritated noise.

“Oh no, this I have to hear. I spent the whole day tripping over tree roots and falling in streams—at least I’m not the only one who suffered.”

“He—it doesn’t make any sense!” Neji burst out. “His technique is abysmal. He just…he just keeps going! He must have made at least a thousand clones over the course of the training. How is that even possible? Eventually I ran out of chakra, but he just kept going!”

“That sucks. I still think my story was worse, what with Kakashi-sensei having to find me and lead me back like a child, but it still sucks.”

“Is that all you have to say?”

Food in hand, Sasuke settled next to him on the couch. She bumped his shoulder with her own. “Stop whining. This isn’t any different from any other challenge we’ve faced.”

“I never lose.”

“Well, get used to it. I lose all the time; so does Naruto. It happens. Now use that stupidly big brain of yours and think up a way to help me navigate alone in the woods.”

“That only solves your problem.”

“Getting pummeled a few times will be good for you.”

“Shut up.”

“Seriously, though—we already knew that Naruto has an unbelievable amount of chakra. And you said before that it looked…odd. That must be his special ability, like your Byakugan or my Sharingan. And just like if we were to fight each other for real, we have to figure out how that ability works and how to counteract it. So far, all it seems to be good for is letting him keep going.”

“Exactly,” Neji growled.

“So,” she continued semi-patiently, “that makes him an _ideal_ sparring partner. He’s like a living, quasi-intelligent punching bag. You’re going to have the best taijutsu in the village with all this practice.”

He hnn’ed thoughtfully.

“Besides, if you were really fighting, you only need to hit his real body once and the fight would be over. I assume Kakashi-sensei wouldn’t let you use your full power.”

“That’s true…”

“And in the meantime, you can build up your strength, speed and stamina in ways that neither I nor training posts could help you with. Training to true exhaustion is the best way to get stronger.”

“I was already strong,” he said, sounding annoyed again.

“Well, excuse me Mr. Perfect. Take it from someone who has failed utterly and has the bruises and scratches to prove it—if you can’t learn to pick yourself back up, you’re just wasting your time learning how to be a ninja. No one wins all the time.”

“ _I_ do. I _have_ to.”

“…why? I don’t care, Kakashi-sensei doesn’t care, Naruto…well, he cares, but only because of his all-consuming and counter-productive obsession with winning. Anyway, he’s an idiot, so his opinion shouldn’t matter that much.”

“…”

Sasuke sat back and tried to force something useful out of her tired brain. “…is this a clan thing?” she hazarded.

He tensed. “It’s not important.”

“Obviously it is.” She waited. And ate her dinner. Neji could be almost as stubborn as she was, so this could take awhile.

He broke first. “Almost everyone in the Hyuuga bloodline is born with these eyes, but only about a third of them ever activate the Byakugan.”

Okay. Random. “Hmm,” she said, hopefully encouragingly.

He wasn’t listening to her, caught up in his story. “In the Branch family, especially if the Byakugan is not strong, members seldom serve the village as ninja. I was too young to remember, but I believe my f-father secured some kind of agreement from Hyuuga-sama in order to get me enrolled in the Academy, and the elders couldn’t make up their minds whether I should be punished or rewarded for excelling. They expected me to fail, and developing a reputation as one of the most promising ninja from the Hyuuga clan ever stung their pride.” He seethed quietly at the injustice of it all.

Sasuke nudged his shoulder again. “Well, you’re a genin now, and Kakashi-sensei barely listens to the Hokage, let alone anyone else. He won’t let your clan push him around, and I’m sure this whole training-with-Naruto thing isn’t some bizarre passive-aggressive attempt to get you kicked off the team.”

“It sounds stupid when you put it like that.”

“Well, it is. It was stupid when they actually could pull stuff like that, but they don’t have that kind of control over you anymore.”

She could _feel_ his skepticism.

“Just…try to think about it objectively. Imagine Kakashi-sensei. And Hyuuga-sama. In the same room. Having a conversation.”

“He’d hate Kakashi-sensei.”

“Yep.”

“But he couldn’t just put him in his place.”

“Nope; Kakashi-sensei would kick his ass.”

“I don’t think…really? Do you think we could…arrange that?”

She laughed. “Kakashi-sensei never does anything you want him to do. But I don’t think you have anything to worry about. Unless you’re giving up.”

“…”

“Stop that. You’re glares are wasted on me.”

“I don’t give up.”

“Awesome. So stop moping and focus on my problems for a change. I can usually sense nearby trees well enough not to walk into them, but that doesn’t help me figure out what direction the village is in!”

“Well…”

~*~

Much to Naruto’s (frequently vocalized) disgust, after the disaster of her last out-of-village mission, the council expressly forbade The Last Uchiha from taking another such mission. So they were stuck with lame D-ranks—something the other two should really resent more, since they’d already suffered through this monotony, but Naruto was definitely the loudest complainer.

Kakashi didn’t have much sympathy—of course, he hardly had to do anything besides abandon Sasuke in the woods somewhere and hand them their mission scroll. Neji and Naruto were perfectly capable of beating each other until one of them collapsed from exhaustion (Neji) or starvation (Naruto) without his supervision, and even Naruto could figure out how to paint a fence.

After a fashion.

Their teamwork had degraded into a three-way bitchiness contest, with Neji in a perpetually bad mood because he kept getting his ass kicked, Sasuke because she’d made zero progress navigating on her own, and Naruto because he wasn’t improving as fast as he wanted and just because Neji had that effect on people.

Both Naruto and Neji had improved significantly, but unfortunately for Kakashi they were a little too young and immature to appreciate the value of that progress without seeing immediate results.

Even he could admit that he needed to think of another strategy for Sasuke, though. This seemed like something she genuinely could not do on her own.

In the meantime, however…

“All of you, shut the hell up!”

Mercifully, they did.

“You’re acting like children,” he lectured, ignoring the fact that they actually were children. “If you can’t even manage to train together, what makes you think you can be trusted with real missions?”

“It’s not like it matters,” Naruto muttered sullenly. “We can’t go on a real mission anyway because of precious _Sasuke_.”

She growled.

Neji might have said something in her defense, but they weren’t speaking to each other at the moment. 

Kakashi ran a hand through his already-wild hair. “I think what we need right now is some space. Everyone trains on their own tomorrow, in whatever way they prefer. No missions. I don’t want any of you within half a kilometer of each other for the next twenty-four hours. Is that understood?”

“Like I want to hang out with that stuck-up bastard or some _girl_ , anyway!” Naruto declared, stomping off in a huff.

“You realize we live together, right?” Sasuke asked. “Which of us do you plan on kicking out?”

“Neji can sleep on my couch. Or in the street. Or at his house! Plenty of choices. The twenty-four hours starts in seventeen seconds.”

“But then Sasuke will be by herself!“ Neji protested.

“I’m not an _infant_ ,” she snapped. “I think I can manage to feed myself for a single night!”

“You don’t even know where we are right now!”

“We’re in Konoha, I can just ask someone. And you’re hardly one to talk about being helpless—“

“And time to go,” Kakashi interrupted, grabbing Neji by the back of his shirt and hauling him away. He wouldn’t normally have risked being so close to an irate Hyuuga—genin or not, the kid was good—but he was practically swaying on his feet after a day of training with Naruto and couldn’t summon up those deadly handstrikes.

Probably.

He readied a kawarimi just in case.

Sasuke waited for them to leave, then sniffed the air, trying to determine if she was near any food stalls she recognized. Like hell she was asking for help in a village she’d lived in her whole life.

~*~

“I’m going to check on her,” Neji announced, not for the first time.

“No,” Kakashi said, not looking up from his book.

“Then you go check on her.”

“I have other plans for my student-free day.”

“This is the first time she’s been on her own for a night since she left the hospital!”

“You realize that this is exactly why she’s pissed at you, right? She’s thirteen, not two, and a fine ninja; stop treating her like she’s helpless!”

“I’m not! You know she would never have actually asked for directions; she’s probably sleeping in some random alley somewhere.”

“Well if you trusted her to take care of herself a little more, she might still be speaking to you.”

“And if you’d stop leaving her to wander in the dark by herself all day she might not be so frustrated all the time! Why can’t you just appreciate the things she does well?”

“A ninja never settles for the skills they have today; he always pushes to improve himself. And this is something she _needs_ to know. Her team could be killed or captured, and the mission or their lives might depend on her ability to go for help. If she ever wants to take missions outside the village, she has to develop some way to navigate without you holding her hand.”

“Hnn.”

“I’ll take that as an acknowledgment that I’m right.”

Silence.

“But if it’s really that important to you, I’ll look in and make sure she got home last night. Just like I’m going to look in on you and Naruto to see what kind of training regimen you prefer when I’m not around.”

Neji’s eyes, which had been studiously regarding the floor, snapped up. “Wait, I thought these were private training sessions today?”

“Well…not private from _me_ , obviously.” Kakashi eyed him suspiciously. “You wouldn’t be hiding abilities from me again, would you? Because I thought we covered this when we discussed that I’m a part of this team, too. I can understand why you and Sasuke felt the need to conceal your training in the past, even if it was definitely against the rules, but as your sensei and squad leader it’s my job to know what your strengths and weaknesses are.”

Neji didn’t respond.

“I can wait all day. No one will be surprised if I just don’t turn up in the mission room.”

Still nothing.

“And you’re the one who’s concerned about Sasuke.”

Neji gave him an extremely unfriendly look, but Kakashi was unmoved. “I’ll show you, but it has to be private from everyone else. Promise!”

“Except the Hokage,” Kakashi said promptly, serious for once. Konoha was two for two with secretive geniuses of late, and Neji had more reason than most to hate his clan. 

“It’s not…do you have to volunteer information?”

“I…suppose not. So long as it’s nothing dangerous to the village.”

“Just to me.”

Okay… “What about Sasuke?”

Neji gave him a look that suggested he’d just said something unbelievably stupid. He’d really refined it since he met Naruto. “Sasuke already knows.”

Of course. “Well?”

Neji looked around the small apartment, particularly at the dogs draped over every available surface. “I’m not sure this is a good place for demonstrating high-level jutsu.”

“Good point. I know a private training area.”

Kakashi prodded a few of his lazy nindogs (where did they get all these bad habits from?) into checking the area before turning to Neji. “All right, what don’t you want me to know about?”

Neji didn’t even have the good grace to look ashamed of himself. “Throw something at me.”

With a shrug, Kakashi pulled out three shuriken and whipped them at his student. That was probably poor teaching technique, but he was annoyed…besides, they wouldn’t hit anywhere fatal if Neji failed to dodge.

But he didn’t even try. Chakra swirled around him and he executed a perfect Hakkeshou Kaiten, deflecting the shuriken so decisively that Kakashi had to dodge out of the way. 

“I remember—I saw you try this once before. You’ve gotten a lot better.”

Neji scowled. “That was four years ago! Of course I’ve gotten better!”

“This is at least a chuunin-level technique, even with four years of intensive training I wouldn’t have expected you to master it. Why all the secrecy? And why don’t you use this when you fight Naruto? It’s much more efficient to dispel dozens of clones at once, and even his stamina has its limits. Probably.”

“I never use this in public. Well, I actually used it on that mission to Grass—twice—but only Sasuke was there at the time and I don’t think sensei or Akio noticed.”

Kakashi’s genius brain was putting the pieces together into a picture that he really didn’t like. “Who taught you this technique?”

Neji adopted an expression of guilt/bull-headed stubbornness that wouldn’t have been out of place on Naruto. Kakashi’s heart sank. “No one. I saw Hyuuga-sama use it once and I figured it out.”

“Well…I suppose if you weren’t deliberately spying…”

“That was just for general Gentle Fist technique. Sasuke copied a sparring session and we practice together. It’s had an interesting effect on her own taijutsu style, which I’m sure you’ve noticed.”

Kakashi seriously considered having a heart attack. He managed to keep his voice steady somehow. “Anything else?”

“I’ve been trying out a new technique lately, but I wasn’t sure if it was safe to practice on Sasuke. Do you know if there are any long-term effects to having your tenketsu points repeatedly sealed?”

Oh god.

~*~

After convincing Neji to stick with practice dummies for now, it was almost a relief to escape that political-shitstorm-waiting-to-happen and check on Sasuke. At least he’d managed to make some progress getting Neji to open up. Just two more to go and they might actually start acting like a team.

Letting himself in the window of Neji and Sasuke’s apartment, he froze.

Blood. The smell of blood.

If Sasuke had been seriously injured or killed, Neji was never going to let him hear the end of it. 

Plus, dead student, very bad. End of the Uchiha bloodline, very, very bad.

He dropped into a crouch and pulled out a kunai, unveiling his Sharingan with a practiced motion.

He didn’t detect any foreign chakra or signs of struggle. Yet the blood scent was definitely Sasuke.

The main room was clear. She must be in the bedroom or the bathroom. Bedroom first.

Stretching his senses to their limit, he pushed open the door slowly. No enemy ninja leapt out at him.

Sasuke was curled up on her futon, unconscious or dead. There wasn’t a visible pool of blood, and her head was still attached, so there was still some hope.

He approached cautiously, but didn’t trigger any traps or encounter any signs indicating what might have happened.

“Sasuke, wake up,” he ordered, checking her pulse. It was, thankfully, steady, and her color was good.

She sat up, hair sticking up around the hitai-ate covering her eyes.

“Sasuke, report.” 

“On what, sensei? I found my way back eventually, no thanks to you, ate some leftover rice balls and went to sleep. Why? Did you decide to have training today after all?”

“So…you’re not injured?” Kakashi asked, frowning.

“Um…no?” She patted her hands over her body. “I scratched my arm on a fencepost, but it’s fine now…”

She moved to sit up and the futon made a distinctive squelching noise.

They both froze.

She scrambled to her feet, revealing that her clothes and futon were positively drenched in blood. Aside from her justified panic, she wasn’t showing any signs of blood loss, and she should have at least been pale, unless…

Oh god.

 _Oh god_.

~*~

“Kakashi, are you…drunk? It’s ten o’clock in the morning!”

~*~

Team Seven regrouped at their regular training time the next day.

Kakashi was hungover and twitchy.

Sasuke sat serenely, secure in the knowledge that no matter how mortifying that entire experience had been—and it was, once sensei had dragged her to the hospital and thrown her at the first female medical professional he’d seen, who finally explained what was going on—he was much, much more embarrassed then she was. Karma.

Neji looked back and forth between the two, suspicious.

Naruto was oblivious.

“I had an idea yesterday—“ Neji began.

“Nothing happened yesterday!” Kakashi interrupted, desperately.

“Are you feeling okay, Kakashi-sensei?” Naruto asked.

“Anyway,” Neji continued, now very suspicious, “yesterday when we were looking for a training spot, Kakashi sent a couple of his dogs to scout the area.”

“So?”

“So, why couldn’t Sasuke do something like that to navigate?”

Stunned silence reigned.

“Neji,” Kakashi said slowly, “that’s a great idea. Why didn’t I think of that?”

Sasuke giggled and he immediately blushed.

Neji opened his mouth to demand to know what ‘didn’t happen’ yesterday.

“So Sasuke should get a pet?” Naruto asked, struggling to follow the conversation.

“Well, my dogs aren’t pets, they’re summons,” Kakashi informed him.

“Really?” Neji asked, distracted. “But…they were just sitting around your apartment.”

“Yeah, they’re lazy like that. And it’s not like I always have something for them to do. They spend a lot of time making a mess of my apartment and eating all my food.”

All three boys turned to stare when Sasuke abruptly burst out into semi-hysterical laughter, all but rolling on the ground in her mirth.

“Uh…”

“C-can you imagine…the Legendary Sannin…haha!” she choked out.

Neji’s confused expression cleared slightly. The other two were already looking at him in his capacity as unofficial Sasuke translator. “Ah. She’s slightly obsessed with the Legendary Sannin. When the Hokage makes his obligatory monthly visits to make sure we’re still alive she always bugs him for stories.”

“I still don’t see why this is funny…” Naruto said, annoyed at being left out of a joke.

“Well, the Sannin are three legendary ninja and they each have a powerful summon,” Kakashi explained. “And…that’s where I lose the train of thought that leads to giggling fits. Misfiring hormones?”

“Shut up, sensei. Just think about it: a slug with acidic mucus, a toad with a punk attitude and a snake with a penchant for eating people, and all of them bigger than the Hokage Tower,” Sasuke supplied, still chuckling. “Now imagine them sitting around having a snack!”

Even Kakashi had to suppress a smile at that ludicrous image.

“Plus there’s the Sannin themselves, what with that whole unrequited-love-triangle thing they’ve got going.”

Kakashi choked. “I’m afraid to ask…”

“Seriously, don’t,” Neji muttered.

“It’s obvious, isn’t it? Everyone knows Jiraiya-sama has a crush on Tsunade-hime—“

“Fair enough.”

“Who are these people?”

“Shut up, Naruto.”

“And she had a crush on Orochimaru when they were younger since he was so smart and everything—“

“I suppose that seems likely.”

“And of course Orochimaru had a crush on Jiraiya-sama.”

Kakashi was rendered speechless.

“It’s completely obvious,” Sasuke asserted.

Neji just rolled his eyes.

Desperate to move onto a less traumatic topic of conversation, Kakashi produced a scroll from one of the many pockets in his vest. “Well, no time like the present!” he declared with forced cheer.

“What are you talking about?”

“Well, Sasuke, I’m going to teach you how to summon a pack of your own. As you’ve clearly, er, already surmised, my summon contract is a bit unconventional. It will take time, and you’ll have to raise them from puppies. I expect you’ll only be able to call one or two for the first year or so until the contract gets used to you. What?”

Sasuke’s mouth was hanging open. “You’re seriously going to let me sign your summon contract?”

“…yes?”

“But—but that’s a really big deal! Why me?”

“Why not?”

She couldn’t think of a response to that. “Well, okay. I mean, th-thank you.”

He ruffled her hair. “Don’t strain anything, now.”

She snarled and swatted his hand away.

“First you have to sign your name in blood. Here, I’ll show you where…”

~*~

It was in a considerably better frame of mind that Kakashi approached the Hokage Tower for a new mission for his team. Now if he could just erase yesterday’s Event from his brain everything would be perfect.

“Ah, if it isn’t the young Hatake boy.”

Kakashi raised an eyebrow. “Danzou-sama.”

“I hear there’s good news concerning the Uchiha girl.”

Kakashi fought back his instinctive desire to avoid talking or even thinking about recent Events and Uchiha Sasuke. “What do you mean?”

“Only that we will soon see a revival of one of Konoha’s greatest clans. It was disappointing that the Last Uchiha was a hopeless cripple, but fortunately she will still be of use bearing new sons to the bloodline.” 

The councilmember swept away.

Kakashi’s good mood was completely ruined. He grabbed the nearest chuunin. “I need to see the Hokage. Now.”

~*~

Time passed, and Team Seven still struggled with teamwork. Neji was feeling much more secure in his abilities—despite his ongoing losing streak—after Kakashi’s honest surprise that he’d managed to work out several advanced Hyuuga techniques on his own. Naruto had hit on the idea of using his clones as allies in battle and not just letting them attack randomly, an original technique he was bursting with pride over. And Sasuke was diligently training the adorable pure white puppy that answered her summon, delighted by the measure of independence this granted her and the evidence of Kakashi’s trust.

However, together…

Naruto and Neji had unexpectedly bonded over the task of chasing Sasuke’s many suitors away, much to Sasuke’s fury. Not that she wanted anything to do with them either, but she could handle her own problems, thank you very much. Other than that, they never talked when they could argue, and they still couldn’t fight “together” in any meaningful sense of the word.

Kakashi despaired. But recently all his focus had been on the results of Danzou’s interference.

The first “suitors” to turn up had been a bunch of creepy old perverts that even Sasuke was grateful to accept assistance in kicking into next week. Then the elders switched tactics and several of her extremely embarrassed classmates turned up to mumble offers of alliance between their clans, sorry but my mom made me… And then there was the five-year-old…

In short, it was ridiculous.

When Kakashi went to complain to the council that all this was interfering in training his team, they had the nerve to ask him why, as the last of a powerful bloodline himself, _he_ hadn’t offered for her.

Fortunately (for them) the Hokage and all the ANBU guards hauled him out before he could do more than maim them a little bit.

But as there was simply nothing he could do about that disaster beyond continuing to scare away every male in Konoha who wasn’t a member of this team, eventually he returned to the issue of teamwork. 

“Wait,” he said suddenly, interrupting whatever petty squabble had broken out while he was daydreaming. “Sasuke, Neji—you used to have excellent teamwork; how did you manage that?”

“He used to trust me to pull my own weight,” Sasuke said poisonously.

Neji valiantly ignored her. “We started working together closely when the Academy instruction turned out not to be relevant for us. They refused to make any accommodations for Sasuke and they didn’t know a thing about my fighting style, so we just…worked it out between the two of us. Then we just fell into a pattern for every new thing we had to learn.”

“Like tree-climbing,” Sasuke supplied. “Yoshinori-sensei was furious with us because we worked together instead of discovering the technique on our own, like proper ninja.”

“Great. New training exercise for the day: Neji, Sasuke, teach Naruto how to tree-climb.” Kakashi announced, disappearing before they could voice a protest.

Naruto immediately scowled and stomped his foot like a five-year-old.

“Oh don’t even start,” Sasuke said. “We were genin for a whole year before you, of course we know a few things that you haven’t learned yet. Tree-climbing is one of the standard techniques new genin learn.”

They walked him through the process, and with much shouting, scolding and destruction of innocent trees, Team Seven finally managed to overcome a task together. Kakashi, watching from the trees, wondered why he hadn’t thought of this strategy before.

~*~

Since they really didn’t need that much supervision, especially for such easy missions, the Hokage started sending Kakashi out on solo missions once a week or so. For the genin, that meant one thing: free time.

After much argument, Sasuke finally managed to chase Neji off and let her alone for a whole hour. She summoned her still-unnamed puppy—Kakashi said he would be able speak human when he was bigger and he could tell her his name himself—and went to visit the abandoned Uchiha compound.

Even Neji thought it was slightly unhealthy to spend too much time here, so this was a perfect opportunity. The anniversary of That Time was approaching and everyone in the village would either tiptoe around her or try to comfort her, and she wanted a chance to mourn outside of the public eye.

They’d barely passed through the gates when her summon raced back to cower behind her ankles, whimpering. A second later, a wave of killing intent struck her with almost physical force.

“What the—?” She pushed up her hitai-ate, scanning the area with her Mangekyou Sharingan. “Go get help—quickly!” she ordered her summon. He took off.

“Well, well…” a voice said from the shadows.

She squinted through the red haze that passed for sight with the Sharingan and saw a brightly-colored, swirly mask in the darkness behind a building. Peering through the single eye-hole was another Sharingan eye.

She barely had time to be surprised before she blacked out.


	7. Team...Seven?

Sasuke woke to the all-too-familiar feeling of chakra exhaustion. She felt around for hitai-ate, but it was nowhere in her immediate reach. Her muscles were stiff and she was covered in dew—had she lain here all night? As much as she resented Neji’s—and now Naruto and Kakashi-sensei’s—overprotectiveness, they could have at least brought her back to her apartment. Or woke her up!

With a groan, she pushed herself to her feet. She was going to give all three of them a piece of her mind, selfish bastards!

Then she remembered the mystery Sharingan-user. Had she been attacked? Was she even in Konoha any longer? Was she a prisoner again? What if Kakashi couldn’t find her this time? What if he didn’t even try?

After a minute, she forced herself to stop panicking. She thought about looking around, but her chakra was so low right now that she didn’t want to risk passing out again. And summoning was another chakra-intensive technique, which was why she seldom dismissed her summon.

Very annoying.

She stretched her senses, trying to identify anything familiar. The air was warm and slightly damp, as she would expect during Konoha’s rainy season. She was definitely outdoors. She could hear the distant sounds of people, but not clearly enough to make out anything specific. She took a shuffling step forward, then another, waving her arms in front of her face like a, well, a blind person.

Eventually, she encountered a gate. She dropped to her knees and felt the edges carefully. The latticework was familiar—she used to do this all the time as a young child. This was the entrance to the Uchiha compound. And for some reason her teammates had been unwilling or unable to find her. All night. After she was attacked.

Well, standing here by herself wasn’t accomplishing anything. She could just follow the sounds of people until she found someone who could direct her to her apartment. She could swallow her pride just this once—to save her energy for lecturing her idiot team, of course.

She trailed a hand along the side of each building she passed, walking slowly and carefully. It was frustrating how such simple tasks could still present such a challenge, even after all her training. And being tired, sore, and hungry was not helping!

“Oi, Sasuke-teme!”

Sasuke froze. “…Naruto?”

“Hey, sorry lady, I’m looking for Sasuke!”

Sasuke barely resisted the urge to open her eyes and confirm that this was Naruto, but really, that chakra signature was unmistakable. Besides, he’d probably changed a bit since she last saw him at eight years old. “…but I’m right here.”

“Hey lady, why’re you walkin’ with your eyes shut?”

“Naruto, this is how I always walk. How could you possibly…actually, never mind, I don’t even want to know how your mind works. Could you take me to my apartment?”

“Where’s that? Oh hey, you’re a ninja? Me too! I’m gonna be the best ninja ever! And someday, I’m gonna be Hokage! What’s your name?”

“Umm…” Had Naruto finally hit his head too many times? She was about to ask him just that when an unfamiliar chakra signature approached.

“Dobe. Stop chatting up girls and focus on the mission.”

“Shut up, Sasuke-teme!”

Okay, now she just had to know. Sasuke cracked her eyes open.

Sure enough, there was Naruto, looking a little taller than she remembered him but otherwise pretty much the same. Just…oranger. Hopefully that was just her weird vision and Naruto didn’t actually wear that. And next to him was a boy who looked remarkably like a smaller version of Itachi but with bad hair.

His eyes widened and shifted to the Sharingan.

Then her chakra ran out and everything went dark again.

~*~

The next time she woke up, she was in a hospital bed. People were talking around her.

“…and then she just fainted!” Naruto was saying enthusiastically.

“Thank you, Naruto. Sasuke?” the Hokage said.

“What?” she asked groggily. Wait, was there an echo in here?

“Oh, you’re awake!”

“Guess so. And I didn’t _faint_ , Naruto, it’s called chakra exhaustion! There’s a big difference.”

“Uh, ok…”

“What’s going on?” she demanded, attempting to sit up. There were damp bandages over her eyes, but more importantly, she was apparently tied to the bed. “Why am I being restrained? Am I in trouble for something?”

“I understand that you possess the Sharingan,” the Hokage said, not answering any of her questions.

She made a frustrated noise. “Of course. You already know that. Everyone knows that.”

“Everyone? I can’t say I’ve ever seen you before.”

“What are you talking about? You see me every month and tell me irreverent stories about the Legendary Sannin.”

“Wow Sasuke, you two look really alike,” Naruto interrupted. “You could be siblings!”

Sasuke flinched.

“Wow, synchronized flinching,” an unknown female voice said. “That’s weird.”

“Why don’t you start by telling us your name,” the Hokage said in that overly-patient voice she remembered from the immediate aftermath of That Time.

“You _know_ my name. I’m Uchiha Sasuke.”

The silence in the room was almost tangible.

“But…you’re a girl,” Naruto said finally.

“Of course I’m a girl, idiot! We’ve only been teammates for six months now! Don’t tell me you’re only just noticing!”

“That’s impossible,” the stranger with the Sharingan said, “because _I’m_ Uchiha Sasuke.”

“I really don’t understand what is going on right now,” (girl) Sasuke said, voicing all their thoughts.

~*~

The Sandaime called in Yamanaka Inoichi to conduct an examination—then sent him out again to wait until morning when Sasuke kicked up a fuss.

“I’m not submitting to any tests that require eye contact. Look, just ask Kakashi-sensei! He told me I could die or lose the ability to channel chakra if I overuse my Sharingan!”

“Well, he would know, but why don’t you just turn it off?”

“I can’t! …why, can your Sasuke turn his off?”

“Of course I can.”

Sasuke seethed—was she this annoying? And stuck-up? She hoped not.

“We’ll have to keep you, er, under guard here until we can confirm your identity,” the Hokage said. “I’m sure you can understand, this is all a bit…irregular.”

“Fine, whatever.”

“Well…ah, Kakashi. Thank you for coming so quickly. We had some questions about overusing the Sharingan.”

“…okay. Who is this?”

Sasuke sat up as well as the restraints allowed. “Don’t tell me you forgot I was a girl, too!”

“…do I know you?”

Okay, so this wasn’t some kind of bizarre and elaborate prank. Kakashi was still twitchy about his recent discovery that she was, in fact, a girl, with all the Girl Problems that came with it—no way he could remain that nonchalant. And it couldn’t be genjutsu; it was too elaborate, and Naruto’s scent and chakra signature matched her memory exactly, which no one would think to imitate. Even if the mysterious Sharingan user—the first one; it seemed like this ‘Last Uchiha’ title was seriously exaggerated—had used an advanced genjutsu, her own Sharingan should have kept her safe.

So…

What the hell was going on?

~*~

Twelve hours and two sessions with Yamanaka Inoichi later, the working theory was—well, they had no working theory. All they’d established was that she was completely sincere in her belief that she was Uchiha Sasuke, and she remembered an entire Konoha that was almost, but not quite, identical to theirs.

She didn’t appear dangerous, so they decided to release her on the condition that she be subjected to frequent and random check-ins by ANBU. An ANBU escorted her to Team Seven’s training area—not the same one she remembered—at ten in the morning.

So, well before Kakashi was due to arrive.

That left her to socialize with a bored Team Seven.

“Wow Sasuke, you’re kind of hot as a chick.”

Sasuke—both of them—barely resisted the urge to beat Naruto into the ground.

The other girl had no such restraint. “Stop saying such stupid things!” she yelled, clobbering him over the head.

“So…who are you exactly?” Sasuke asked the girl.

“Me? Oh, I’m Haruno Sakura. I-I guess since you’re a girl, the teams would be different…so it’s not really a surprise that we’re not close…”

“What are you talkin’ about? Sasuke-teme barely notices you either,” Naruto—unwisely—pointed out.

Sasuke winced at the sound of a fist colliding with Naruto’s skull—again. This Sakura was awfully violent. And apparently this other Sasuke was stalked just as diligently as she was by overeager suitors. Could that word be applied to girls? “I didn’t really follow the usual track at the Academy,” she said, trying to keep the peace. “Now that you’ve mentioned it, I think I remember you. You’re friends with the Yamanaka girl, right?”

“Well, uh, we used to be,” Sakura hedged, effectively ending that line of conversation.

Sasuke searched for something else to talk about. She really, really missed Neji and his comfortable silences right now. 

“What happened at the Academy?” the other Sasuke asked, attempting to keep the conversation going. Not that he really cared, but he’d rather Naruto didn’t start talking about how hot the new girl was. It was just weird.

She shrugged. “After my…accident…” she gestured toward her eyes, “they put me in a different class. I actually graduated a year earlier than I was supposed to, but then I failed the chuunin exam so here I am again. And it looks like I’m going to miss the exam _again_ and spend yet another year on these stupid D-rank missions.”

“Hnn.”

Sasuke was kicking herself for getting nostalgic over monosyllabic non-answers when a thought occurred to her. “Wait…if this is Konoha, but a slightly different Konoha, does that mean…my family?”

No one said anything.

“Sasuke just shook his head,” Sakura said finally.

Sasuke’s shoulders slumped. 

With his usual impeccable timing, Kakashi chose that moment to appear and start the training session.

~*~

Sasuke sat and listened to the training session—if anything, this Kakashi was even less helpful than her Kakashi-sensei, and this Team Seven was way less independent—then trailed along as they walked dogs and weeded a flowerbed. 

Sakura and Naruto were very solicitous of her “disability” and the other two simply assumed that she couldn’t do anything useful and ignored her. Never mind that she’d _said_ she was a genin. Though without Neji’s subtle support or her summon, she was a little less capable than usual. But only a little!

It was a relief to finally escape, pleading tiredness when Naruto invited her to get some of that dreadful ramen he was obsessed with. At least some things were the same.

It took her until the other Team Seven had already disappeared to realize that her apartment wasn’t hers in this place, and no one had said anything about living arrangements. 

Well, she thought, slightly hysterically, she could always sleep in the kitchen off the main Hyuuga household.

She wasn’t _that_ desperate, though, so she asked directions from a passing civilian to a dango shop she remembered going to as a child. It was less than a block from the Uchiha compound.

After a few false turns and one barked shin, she found her way to her own front door. Sasuke’s front door. Whatever.

Once again, she was left behind. No one here knew her. She had no idea how she’d gotten here. She had no idea how to get back. They all might as well be dead. Again.

She sniffled.

Steadfastly refusing to cry—she hadn’t cried since That Time—she found a musty but serviceable futon in the hall closet and laid it out in an equally musty room. Curling up in a ball, she willed herself to sleep.

~*~

The Sandaime Hokage had an ominous feeling—and not just because his loudest former student had decided the latest news from his spy network was worth a personal visit.

“I’m hearing some very strange things about that new settlement claiming to be the next Hidden Village,” Jiraiya was saying. “I think they’re calling themselves ‘The Hidden Sound.’ Coupled with increased activity from—sensei, are you listening?”

“Hmm? Yes, yes, of course. It’s just—there’ve been some strange occurrences here, too.”

“Oh?”

“You’re not going to believe this—I’m not sure _I_ believe it, but Inoichi swears—”

There was a knock at the door.

“I said I wasn’t to be disturbed!” the Sandaime called, irritated at the interruption.

“My apologies, Hokage-sama,” an unfortunate chuunin yelled through the door, “but, um—I really think you should see this.”

Sensei and (ex-)student had a furious, silent conversation. After a moment, Jiraiya abandoned his attempts to escape through the window and slumped in a chair, pouting.

“This had better be good,” the Sandaime called ominously.

The chuunin’s nervous swallow was audible even through the closed door.

After a moment, Kakashi pushed open the door and entered, a peculiar expression on his face. Right on his heels, another Kakashi followed with an identical expression—as much of an expression as one can have with three-quarters of their face covered, anyway.

“Speaking of strange happenings,” the Hokage managed, gesturing to the newcomers. “I see we have another extra-dimensional visitor.”

“There isn’t enough alcohol in the _world_ for this,” Jiraiya said, once he recovered the ability to speak.

Both Kakashis made an identical, amused sound, then glanced at each other warily. It was almost like watching a bizarre mirror act, though without the mirror. Obviously. 

The Sandaime wondered if all these bizarre happenings had damaged his mind somehow.

One of the Kakashis stepped out of the doorway to allow Naruto and Hyuuga Neji, of all people, to enter. The Hyuuga boy quietly closed the door behind him and dragged Naruto off to a corner where they wouldn’t be in the way.

“Can I interpret your lack of surprise to mean that my other student is already here somewhere?” a Kakashi asked neutrally.

“Yes, she arrived yesterday. We—“

The Hokage was interrupted yet again when the door slammed open, heralding the arrival of Uzumaki Naruto. Again. “Old man, old man! I was coming to see you about joining the chuunin exam, but those guys all said I was already here! What’s goin’ on?”

Naruto finally noticed that there were other people in the room, and with his usual tact he poked both Kakashis—hard. “Wow, sensei! I didn’t know you could make shadow clones!”

The other Naruto escaped Neji’s attempts to contain him and bounced over to regard his counterpart. “Whoa, cool!”

The Sandaime felt a headache coming on. “Have we made any progress determining what exactly is going on?”

One Kakashi came to attention. “Yesterday my team and I discovered that Sasuke had disappeared. When we retraced her steps, we found that she had apparently vanished into thin air. After subjecting the area to every investigatory jutsu we could think of, we triggered…something…and found ourselves here. We didn’t seem to have moved physically, but once we entered the village it was obvious that this was…somehow…a different Konoha. If it is a genjutsu, it’s certainly the most elaborate one I’ve ever seen, and fully immune to the Sharingan.”

Abandoning his attempts at dignity, the Sandaime let his head drop to the desk with a loud thunk. “There, that’s much better,” he said. “Everything makes so much more sense now.”

Everyone gave him weird looks.

“Determining what exactly has happened here is now the number one priority for all unoccupied ninja in the village,” the Sandaime said. He turned to the nearest ANBU. “I want teams mobilized to investigate the compound, the newcomers, and the archives. If anything even remotely similar has ever happened, anywhere, I want to know about it, yesterday. Our visitors will be assigned temporary housing and guards.” The ANBU nodded sharply and prepared to depart. “But first, I’m making a new law. Everyone who thinks they are from somewhere else will be required to wear a band around their arm, or I will be _very_ displeased.”

Into the silence following that pronouncement, Sasuke and Sakura peered through the doorframe.

“You guys are so slow!” Naruto—one of them—declared loudly.

“You’re not supposed to just barge into the Hokage’s office, Naruto,” Sakura lectured. “And why are you messing around with clones?”

Neji, who had remained unobtrusively in the corner until now, went to join the general ruckus. “The hell did you do to your hair, Sasuke?”

Naruto—both of them this time—burst into giggles. 

“Who the hell are you?” Sasuke demanded.

“In this Konoha, Sasuke is a boy,” the Sandaime supplied, in a futile effort to regain some control of the situation. “Now—“

Neji activated his bloodline limit. “Huh. So you are.”

Kakashi choked.

“What I wouldn’t give for a jutsu like that,” Jiraiya said wistfully.

“Don’t be a pervert,” Neji shot back immediately. “I was just looking at his chakra signature. Where is Sasuke?”

Fortunately, an ANBU chose just that moment to drop in through the window.

“Please, no one bother asking permission,” the Sandaime mumbled, “it’s just the Hokage’s office…”

“Hokage-sama,” the ANBU reported, “the girl calling herself Uchiha Sasuke is not in her assigned apartment. No one remembers seeing her enter or leave.”

Now the Sandaime really had a headache. “Please tell me that someone told her where she would be staying?”

Judging by the slightly embarrassed silence, the answer to that was probably no.

“So we have a user of the rare and coveted Sharingan wandering around Konoha, alone, blind, and completely helpless,” the Sandaime summarized.

The ANBU cringed.

“Sasuke’s not _helpless_ ,” Naruto said immediately. “It’s practically impossible to sneak up on her.”

Several faces showed surprise at Naruto’s defense of someone who, in this Konoha, was a bitter rival. 

“Well she did faint yesterday,” Sasuke muttered. “Twice.”

“I’m sure that was chakra exhaustion,” Neji corrected.

“That’s what she _said_ —”

“Boys, please,” Kakashi interrupted. “This is not helping Sasuke. Girl-Sasuke. Boy-Sasuke, shut up. Neji—of the people in this room, I expect you know her best. Where would Sasuke go?”

“She’s probably feeling upset,” the Sandaime added. “Alone. Possibly afraid. Where does, er, Girl-Sasuke feel safe?”

“I know exactly where she is.”

“Fine then,” the Sandaime said. “But no one is leaving this room until three of you are wearing colored bands.”

“Ooh, can mine be orange?” Naruto asked.


	8. Home is Where the Heart Is

Everyone followed Neji out of the Tower—even Jiraiya, who didn’t have any reason to be there—and to the gate of the abandoned Uchiha compound.

“This is where we, uh, fell through,” the Kakashi sporting a lady’s silk scarf supplied, pointing to a perfectly ordinary patch of ground. “We should probably avoid that for now, at least until we understand more about it.”

The Hokage nodded his agreement, then all the adults had to hurry to catch up with Neji, who hadn’t paused. He navigated the streets without hesitation until he came to a particular house.

“You think she would come here?” the scarf-less Kakashi asked. “Isn’t this where—“

“Her family was killed. Yes,” Neji said shortly, with his usual sensitivity to emotional subjects. “I’m sure this is where she would go. Besides, I can see her.” He went inside with no visible regard for the ominous aura hanging over the group, most of it coming from the Sasuke standing behind him.

Nevertheless, the whole group trooped inside. Neji was already halfway down the hall.

“You just passed my room,” Sasuke said tensely.

“Not what I was looking for,” Neji called back, pushing open a screen. From this angle, they could also see a pitiful-looking bundle curled up on a dusty futon.

Boy-Sasuke’s ominous aura increased dramatically. “Get out of there!” He ran down the hall, freezing in the doorway like he’d hit a wall. The others trailed along behind him, reluctant witnesses to the imminent drama.

“Wake up, you got lost again,” Neji said, kicking the sleeping girl none-too-gently.

“Go ‘way,” she mumbled.

“You’re freaking everyone out. Why are you even here?”

“Nii-san always protects me.”

Scarf-less Kakashi grabbed Boy-Sasuke and dragged him outside before he could implode.

“Good thing we chased that shrink away,” Neji said. “You are such a freak.”

“Right, because a psychiatrist would have so much good to say about your relationship with _your_ family.”

“Touché.” He reached out and took her hand, pulling her to her feet. “Your hair’s a mess,” he informed her, turning her around and efficiently braiding it. “You need so much looking after.”

“No more than you.”

Naruto, who had ripped a piece off his pants and tucked the scrap into his hitai-ate, sighed dramatically. “You two are being bad at teamwork again,” he said grumpily. “Kakashi-sensei said you had to stop being just you all the time.”

That disjointed sentence seemed to make more sense to them than the remaining observers, because Sasuke smiled a little. “Well, Naruto, your hair’s too short to braid, but—“ 

“Not a chance,” Neji said firmly, ducking out of her reach.

“Perhaps now that we’ve found her, we can adjourn to somewhere less…depressing…to discuss your presence here?” the Hokage asked delicately. 

~*~

Two hours of discussion left them with no answers and more questions. Sasuke told them about seeing the mysterious Sharingan user, but no one had any ideas about who that could be, or what jutsu could possibly have had these effects.

The adults finally dismissed the fidgety genin to amuse themselves in the village while they consulted other ninja about the best course of action. It was also, unfortunately, time to bring the matter to the attention of the council.

Team Seven and…Team Seven…found an empty training area and sat around, awkwardly not talking.

Well, most of them.

The two Narutos got on like a house on fire, jabbering away to each other at nigh-incomprehensible speeds and gleefully plotting all the many pranks they could pull together.

Boy-Sasuke was still fuming over the reminder of Itachi, and Sakura kept casting him worried looks that he completely ignored. Neji couldn’t be bothered to care about the pink-haired stranger or this alternate version of his teammate. Girl-Sasuke was dozing on his shoulder after a restless night.

They might have sat there until their respective Kakashis had come to fetch them if a curious genin team hadn’t shown up to investigate the rumors of a second Neji.

“The rumors are true after all! The flower of youthfulness has indeed bloomed twice!” a voice boomed.

Girl-Sasuke jolted upright. “What’s going on?”

“You don’t want to know,” Neji said promptly. “ _I_ don’t want to know.”

“What _is_ that?” Sakura said, trying to form words with her mouth hanging open. “Oh god, there’s another one.”

“That is right, Gai-sensei!” a chipper young voice declared.

“That sounded like Rock Lee,” Girl-Sasuke observed.

“You know him?”

“Sort of. Remember when they tried to fail me for not being able to perform a proper Henge?”

“Oh, that kid.”

“And…that chakra signature feels suspiciously like you, Neji.”

“It certainly looks like me. This must be the team I would have been on if you hadn’t moved up a year.”

Gai-sensei and Lee began long, extravagant, noisy speeches about ‘passion’ and ‘youth’ and the joys of being a ninja that were, frankly, terrifying. Neji was getting nauseous just imagining spending all day, every day with these people.

Sasuke was shamelessly laughing at him.

At least his counterpart had an appropriate look of long-suffering so hadn’t completely lost his mind (yet), and the girl seemed all right.

Sasuke was inexplicably irritated when he shared this observation.

They were saved from further attempts to awkwardly socialize with the group eventually identified as Team Gai by the arrival of what appeared to be every councilmember in Konoha to gawk at them.

“I wouldn’t have believed it,” one old woman proclaimed. “An Uchiha and a Hyuuga on the same team…”

“A pity she’s damaged,” someone else said.

Sasuke scowled.

“Well, well, isn’t this an interesting development,” an older man mused.

“I know that voice,” Sasuke whispered, tugging on Neji’s sleeve. “That guy is seriously creepy. Even Kakashi-sensei thinks so.”

As if summoned by her words, Kakashi suddenly appeared beside them, still wearing his pink scarf. “Ah, Danzou-sama.”

“Out of the way, boy. This girl could mean the revival of the Uchiha clan.”

She could feel the other-Sasuke’s glare burning into the back of her head.

“She’s really too young for that sort of thing…” Kakashi hedged.

“In my day, a girl her age would already be expecting her first child,” Danzou insisted. “As would your average civilian. It’s only recently ninja have decided to wait a few years, and look where that’s gotten us! Clans going extinct, clans of only one person…valuable bloodlines lost!”

“Is he the source of your recent marriage difficulties?” Neji asked softly.

“Yes. He has some chart made up somewhere with all the ninja clans in Konoha and which of them have unmarried men. Just a few days ago he tried to marry me off to Kakashi-sensei—apparently there’s some loophole about him being under the guardianship of the Hokage office—but Sandaime-sama put his foot down.”

Kakashi made a strangled choking noise.

“Oh relax, sensei, I’ve had offers of varying degrees of sincerity and sleaziness from every important clan in the village, and many that just wish they were important. Well…” She trailed off.

“Sasuke? Are you all right? You’re looking a little green,” Neji said, sounding worried.

“…I just had the most horrifying thought. There is one clan that hasn’t offered for me—yours.”

“…well, there’s really only one unmarried male member of the Main Branch…”

“I’m going to be sick. Seriously.”

“Then we should definitely take you somewhere to lie down,” Kakashi said overly-solicitously, and not without a strong undercurrent of vindictive amusement. “Come along, Naruto.”

“Aww…”

The nearest councilmember had just enough time to say “wait” before they were whisked off.

~*~

Kakashi didn’t actually make Naruto sit around the apartment assigned the four of them—it was cruel and unusual punishment even by his standards to inflict a stir-crazy Naruto on Neji and Sasuke—plus he would have to deal with it, too.

Instead, he took Naruto out to train somewhere while Sasuke hid from the council and Neji appointed himself to watch over her. 

“You can stop hovering now,” Sasuke said with deceptive mildness.

“Kakashi was really worried about you when your summon appeared and we couldn’t find you,” Neji said defensively.

Oh. “Well, he’s a worrier.”

“I’m a little surprised he let you out of his sight, actually.”

“Well, it’s better that I stay as far away from the council as possible, and he can’t just let Naruto out in the wild by himself,” she pointed out reasonably. “It’s not safe. For the village.”

“Hnn.”

“Besides, you’re doing enough hovering for the both of you,” she said pointedly.

“Well, look what happens when I leave you alone! This whole marriage-thing started that day Kakashi-sensei insisted we all train separately, and then you went for a walk and _fell into an alternate dimension_.”

“Well, I suppose it’s a bit difficult to argue with that,” she conceded. “But I really can take care of myself!”

“Right.”

“How did you all get here anyway? Sensei seemed surprised when I told him about the weirdo with the orange mask.”

“There must be some kind of…hole, or doorway, left behind from whatever jutsu he used to send you here. We mostly just fell through by accident.”

“Fell through?”

“You know what Naruto is like.”

“Ah. Point. So why can’t we just…fall back through?”

“Sensei wants to study it first and see if he can figure out how it works. He seems very worried about people accidentally wandering into the wrong universe. But that’s hardly our most pressing problem.”

“Oh?”

“Well, we may be in the wrong Konoha, but it’s still Konoha. The whole team is here and none of us are hurt. No one’s threatening to kill or confine us. But your marriage problem has survived _traveling to an alternate dimension_. One day the council is going to catch you without an excuse and the next thing you know you won’t be allowed to be a ninja anymore.”

She cocked her head. “You’re really worried about this.”

“Why aren’t you?”

“Sandaime-sama insisted that I be allowed to make my own choice, so the council can pressure me as much as they want.”

“A unanimous vote in the council can override the Hokage’s decision on matters not directly related to defense of the village.”

“First of all, the continuation of the Uchiha clan _is_ a matter of village defense, and second, can you really imagine the council unanimously agreeing on one candidate? They’ll all insist on having Uchiha blood in their own clans.”

“I still think you’re not taking this seriously enough.”

“What can I possibly do? When this first started, I made a list of all the guys I know and ranked them in order of who I’d prefer to marry, but that’s hardly useful. I mean, Naruto is number three on that list! Can you imagine being married to Naruto?”

“Thanks for putting _that_ image in my head.”

“Still not as bad as your uncle.”

“…please don’t bring that up ever again.”

“Well if you really want to talk about this then that’s the kind of thing we need to think about.”

“So who’s first on your list?”

She flushed and didn’t answer.

“Sasuke?”

“Who the hell do you think, idiot? Akio and Yoshinori-sensei hate me and think I’m useless, and I really don’t think about Kakashi-sensei that way, despite Danzou’s repeated attempts.”

“…oh.”

“Yeah, ‘oh.’ Let’s talk about something else,” she mumbled, thoroughly embarrassed.

Excruciatingly awkward silence reigned.

Sasuke almost jumped out of her skin when she felt Neji’s hand touch hers. Even though they held hands practically every day during training, she felt her whole body blushing. “Umm…”

“Well. It’s not—that’s not a well-reasoned list. I’m never going to…to get married,” Neji stammered, sounding as embarrassed as she felt.

She squeezed his hand gently. “Why not?”

He tensed, his grip on her hand becoming almost painful. “Isn’t it obvious? You’ve met my family; you know what my clan is like. No child deserves that.”

She bumped his shoulder. “Buying me a bowl of ramen is hardly the same thing as deciding to have a baby together.”

“I never want to see a bowl of ramen ever again.”

“Don’t change the subject—though I totally agree about the ramen. Dating isn’t a marriage proposal, and getting married doesn’t necessarily mean you have to have kids.”

“For you it does.”

“Well, it would certainly annoy the council if I didn’t, but I couldn’t care less what they think. And… maybe it’s better if my clan isn’t revived. The Sharingan is so powerful…Uchiha Madara was able to kill the Shodaime, and nii-san…well, maybe it’s too dangerous to risk letting it fall into the wrong hands. I haven’t decided if I want to have children yet. And this is a little earlier than I thought I would have to make that decision.”

“I hadn’t thought of that.”

“Although…if we did start dating, your uncle totally freak out. That could be fun.”

He laughed a little at that. “Yeah, right up until he killed us both.” 

“Seriously, though…I just can’t imagine…I mean, I’m sure not all of the people inundating me with marriage proposals are evil perverts. I could probably be reasonably happy with some of them. But if I did marry one of them…we’d have to give this up. You and me, together against the legacies of the two most powerful clans in Konoha, and our shitty families, and ninja training that doesn’t work for us…I guess it’s kind of stupid. Maybe sensei was right about us being codependent.”

“…I hadn’t thought of that either.”

“Well, we live together, spend practically every minute of every day together…what guy would be willing to accept that? To share their girlfriend like that?” Sasuke could feel herself starting to babble and forcibly bit her tongue.

Neji gently turned her head. “All right, you’ve made your point.”

“But—” She stopped talking when he leaned in so close they bumped noses. “Ooh!”

He made a strange sort of frustrated growl.

Her brain finally kicked into gear. “Oh!” She raised her free hand and placed it on the side of his face. “Sorry.”

This time she leaned forward, slowly, and they almost bumped noses again before it occurred to her to tilt her head a little. At the last second she lost her nerve and kissed him gently on the cheek.

She felt the curve of his smile against her lips and made a note that she definitely wanted to feel that again.

“You missed,” he teased, and kissed her softly on the mouth.

“I didn’t,” she managed after a few seconds.

“Do you always have to argue so much?”

“Yes.” She leaned back a little, out of his personal space, and felt her cheeks heating up. “Umm…”

His hand, which had never left hers, squeezed gently. “You’ve successfully talked me into taking you out. Not for ramen, though.”

She blushed harder, but smiled brightly and leaned against his shoulder. “Of course I did. I’m always right.”

~*~

When Kakashi and Naruto came back that evening with takeout—ramen, of course—Kakashi took one look at them and sighed dramatically. “What took you so long?”

Sasuke was annoyed—they weren’t even sitting that close to each other, how could he possibly have known something had happened?

“What’s going on?” Naruto asked.

“Not now, Naruto, I have an important Talk to give your two teammates.”

Sasuke and Neji both cringed. “That’s really not necessary…”

“Once I saw where this was going, I consulted an expert. Well, okay, I talked with the only woman I know who isn’t in ANBU or Anko. Anyway, Kurenai tells me that most girls grow up to marry their fathers.”

“Um, what?”

“Someone just like their father. She had a whole bunch of reasons, but I wasn’t really listening to that part. The point is, we both knew this was inevitable because you, Sasuke, are not like that.”

“What does ‘inevitable’ mean?” Naruto asked.

“Okay…”

“It’s completely obvious to anyone who’s spoken to you that your male role model is your brother, and that you’d attach yourself to someone as much like your brother as possible without actually being related to him.”

“What brother?” Naruto said.

Sasuke choked. “What!?”

“Just think about it! What did you like best about your brother?”

She immediately scowled. “I don’t see how that’s relevant.” Kakashi patiently waited. “Fine. Well, he loves me more than anyone, even our parents, and even when I mess up. And he’s the best ninja ever so I know that no one can ever beat him and he’ll always come back for me. And he protects me, even though I’m a disappointment.” She wrinkled her nose. “Okay, I can sort of see your point, but why did you have to say it in such a gross way?”

“We’re going to have a talk when we get back about how you still talk about him in the present tense.”

She crossed her arms and huffed.

“What is going on!?” Naruto wailed.

~*~

The next morning, Kakashi woke them just as the first birds were starting to sing.

“Time to get up!” he said in a far-too-cheerful voice for this early in the morning.

The genin were immediately suspicious.

“What do you mean? We don’t have any responsibilities here,” Neji said.

“I don’t want you to stay cooped up in this apartment while I figure out what brought us here, so I decided to enroll you in the chuunin exam to give you something to do!”

“You what?”

“All right! I’m going to beat everyone!”

“Is that even allowed?”

“The Hokage said that since you’re ninja of Konoha, there’s no reason you can’t compete. You can’t actually be promoted, but it will still be a valuable experience.”

“But—“

“You have to turn these forms in in just a few hours, so you’d better hurry!”

He disappeared in a puff of smoke.

“He really will go to any lengths to avoid training us, won’t he.”

“He can’t be serious.”


	9. The Chuunin Exam

He was serious.

Checking with the Hokage that Kakashi wasn’t just messing with them almost made Team Seven late for their “practice” chuunin exam, but with Kakashi you just couldn’t assume anything.

They walked in on the tail end of some kind of confrontation, the air thick with tension. Probably this world’s Naruto’s fault, they all thought—including Naruto.

Barely five seconds after they filed in, there was a burst of chakra and the room filled with chuunin and jounin, presumably the exam proctors. An unfamiliar man with a deep, slightly creepy voice ordered them to file in for the written exam.

Sasuke reminded herself that she was an Uchiha and too dignified to bang her head against the wall. _Of course_ it was a written! Behind her, Naruto actually did bang his head against the wall.

~*~

“Haha, that’s one test down!” Naruto enthused, jumping around. “Just what you’d expect from the future Hokage!”

Neji generously refrained from pointing out that he’d been frantically sweating until his impossibly even more loud-mouthed counterpart launched into that ridiculous speech about ‘never giving up’ and the proctor decided to tell them that the whole exam was a fake-out. Typical ninja humor.

Several nearby ninja were less generous. They alternated between aiming their repressive frowns at Naruto and the newest exam proctor, a woman named Anko who was batshit crazy.

Naruto, of course, was undeterred by the mass disapproval. Anko just threw kunai at them until they directed their glares elsewhere.

Meanwhile, Sasuke was seething. “I can’t believe _none_ of the written questions counted! I have to remember the back of that loser’s greasy head for the rest of my life!”

Neji frowned slightly, concerned. “You didn’t try to answer all the questions, did you?” he asked. “You only needed one point to pass.”

“Wait, I could have only answered one question and _not_ pointlessly wasted all my chakra? Why didn’t I think of that? Oh wait, I did, because I’m not _completely freaking stupid!_ ”

Neji wisely decided to go back to watching the other candidates. One never knew what information might prove the difference between life and death. His alternate-reality teammate, Rock Lee, glanced back and forth then gave him an exaggerated, conspiratorial wink.

Neji sighed heavily. He _told_ Kakashi this “disguise” idea was stupid and pointless—too many people already knew about them! But the man was stubborn. Personally Neji thought he was just having a laugh at how ridiculous the three of them looked.

Sasuke was wearing a dirty, ill-fitting, short-sleeved shirt she’d rescued from the Uchiha compound that Neji was almost positive had once belonged to Uchiha Itachi. Without the giant Uchiha fan on her back and with her eyes covered, her disguise was definitely the most effective. There were plenty of girls with long black hair and pale skin in Konoha. She did have the distinctive Uchiha attitude, but so far the other genin seemed to think she was just stuck up. Not that he planned on telling her that, ever.

Neji himself was wearing an even more ill-fitting shirt that had recently been underneath Naruto’s jumpsuit. Even after a thorough washing it still smelled like ramen. After laughing at his indignant complaints, Sasuke offered another of her brother’s shirts, which he had to decline. Not because he objected to looting a dead man’s clothes—Branch members wore a lot of hand-me-downs, and it was common for the previous owner to have died under “mysterious circumstances”—but rather imagining how his uncle would react if he went out in public sporting another clan’s symbol. Kakashi-sensei had gleefully forced a pair of thick, wide sunglasses on him to cover his very distinctive eyes and few people would connect the dignified Hyuuga Neji with this ridiculous get-up. He hoped.

And then there was Naruto. Naruto had “borrowed” Neji’s shirt—though judging by the fact that it was _already_ torn and coated in mud and all they'd done was sit for a written exam, he probably wasn’t getting that back. Naruto was definitely not the sort of person who should wear white, and it made the bright orange pants he’d insisted on keeping look even more ridiculous, especially given that a good four inches was missing from the left leg—which Neji wouldn’t have believed possible if he hadn’t seen it with his own eyes. It didn’t really matter what he was wearing, anyway. Naruto was jumping around and shouting and making a spectacle of himself in a manner so similar to his counterpart that the other genin believed this was either some elaborate prank (Konoha) or hyperactive twins with the most put-upon parents ever (foreigners). 

Anko started talking again, but Neji was side-tracked by an older Konoha ninja approaching Sasuke.

“What do you want?” he demanded, stepping between the two before whoever-it-was could actually touch her.

She kicked his shin viciously, which he ignored.

“Pardon me, but I don’t remember seeing you before,” the man said with an open, sociable smile.

Neji immediately disliked him. “Perhaps there’s a reason for that,” he said firmly, manhandling Sasuke in the other direction. He didn’t miss how the weird ninja’s eyes lingered on the nape of her neck, where a small Uchiha fan was embroidered.

She got in two more kicks before he had to let her go—she was a ninja and those kicks hurt!—and she twisted to face him, obviously irritated. He idly wondered if interpreting her expressions with her eyes covered helped him better understand Kakashi’s or if it was the other way around.

“Pretend to be mad at me,” he told her.

“Pretend!?”

“That guy was acting suspiciously.”

“…you’d better not be lying to me so I don’t beat you for treating me like a helpless child.”

“I wouldn’t lie about something like that.”

“Uh huh.” She crossed her arms over her chest and all-but radiated her irritation.

“Uh, good. Just like that.”

These sunglasses were actually quite useful, he mused, covertly eyeing the stranger through the back of his head. They were so thick that, with his hair down, it wasn’t obvious that his Byakugan was active. Someone specifically looking for them might spot the enlarged veins, but to a casual observer he was just another ninja, so he was free to spy on everyone else without their knowledge.

A pity he looked so completely ridiculous.

“So?” Sasuke demanded. “What’s this ‘suspicious’ guy doing now?”

“He’s communicating something to a woman from the Hidden Grass. Covertly.”

“Maybe she’s his girlfriend.”

“I suppose that’s possible…but they are being _very_ discreet, unnecessarily so even for a cross-village relationship. I doubt anyone has even noticed that they’re exchanging information.”

“You noticed.”

“I’ve been learning to read body language since I was born. And the Byakugan can see far more than normal eyes.”

“So modest.”

“Maybe they are dating. The leaf ninja’s heartrate is…odd. And they’re standing a little closer than is strictly necessary. Ergh, and that Grass ninja’s tongue is just…unnatural.”

“Well those are certainly panic-worthy observations. Is there anything we can do about it?”

“Well, no.”

“Then stop worrying about it. And stop dragging me around!”

“It could be something,” Neji muttered.

“Why don’t you do something actually useful and get us a scroll before Naruto does. You know he’ll just lose it. Besides, I think we’re starting.”

~*~

Naruto launched himself off a branch and focused his chakra in preparation for landing. He winced at the ominous cracking sound as his feet touched down.

“You’re still using too much chakra,” Sasuke lectured. “You’re lighting up my senses like a miniature sun. If there are any enemies in the area we’ll never notice them!”

“I’ll notice them,” Neji pointed out sourly.

“Yeah, unless they’re cloaked, henge’d, under a genjutsu…”

His hand tightening on her arm was the only indication of his annoyance. He was guiding her as they leapt through the trees, something that she still hadn’t found a way to manage on her own. She was experimenting with using summons to guide her, but Kakashi thought it would be a bad idea to try calling their summons in this alternate Konoha, and besides she and Neji could move seamlessly after all their practice.

Her hand brushed against the edge of his arm bandages, touching his bare skin, and they both flinched away, landing awkwardly on the next branch. She felt her cheeks heating, and interestingly enough his arm seemed to be a little warmer as well.

She didn’t usually waste too much of her time bemoaning the fact that she was blind ninety percent of the time, and that everything was a red haze even when she could see, but she thought this occasion warranted a little self-pity. She vowed to somehow, someday, test her theory that dignified, outwardly emotionless Hyuuga Neji blushed over his whole body.

“What’s up with you guys?” Naruto called.

“I think you broke this branch!” she yelled back. More softly, she added, “Focus on the mission, Hyuuga.”

“You’re the one getting distracted, Uchiha,” he shot back.

Since no one was around but the perpetually clueless Naruto, she slid her hand down his arm so they were—in the most technical sense only, of course—holding hands. “You wish. Now hurry up, slowpoke.”

“Well. Isn’t that sweet.”

This time Sasuke actually fell off the branch. Only a quick channeling of chakra to her hands saved her from an embarrassing and painful fall. “Who was that?”

Apparently she was talking to the empty air. It was difficult to discern even Neji’s familiar chakra signature because whoever had snuck up on them—snuck up on a Hyuuga and a chakra sensor!—had the most intense aura Sasuke had ever experienced. It permeated the entire clearing, making it hard to move and breathe, let alone use jutsu. Who _was_ this person?

Fortunately her ears were still working, and after straining them she heard the sounds of ninja combat off to her left and, far below, the sound of footsteps.

“Oh my god!” That was Sakura. What was she doing here? “He must have fallen out the tree! Do you think he’s okay?”

Who fell? Okay, screw this, she had to know what was going on. She pushed up her hitai-ate and blinked, the forest coming into a hazy red approximation of focus. She was moving even before her conscious mind registered the movement to her right.

“Relax, it’s only me.”

Sasuke. The other Sasuke. Dammit, this was confusing even inside her own head. “What the hell is going on? What are you guys doing here? Who are we fighting?”

“None of your business. This is our fight.”

“Are you serious? Can you _feel_ this aura? Stop being such a complete moron.”

He made a low noise, but no actual words were forthcoming.

“What exactly is your problem? You know what, don’t answer that, I only have seven minutes before these damn eyes eat up all my chakra and I pass out, I don’t have time to psychoanalyze you. Rely on other people just this once and you might live another day to plague the rest of us with your insufferable arrogance.”

He bristled visibly. “I don’t need some second-rate ninja telling me what to do! You may have the Sharingan, but you can’t even control it! And what do you know anyway—I relied on others once, and now they’re all dead!”

“Do you even listen to yourself? There are literally dozens if not hundreds of people in this village who’ve lost family members, and I’ve suffered _exactly the same loss_ , moron. Well, not exactly the same, Kakashi-sensei said that _your_ brother escaped, while mine decided to kill himself and give me these eyes. So I’ll thank you not to disparage my ability to control them yet! And technically that means I’ve suffered _more_ , since my entire clan actually did die and you still have one member left!”

He spluttered and she thought his face might have turned purple, though it was hard to tell with the Sharingan.

“But you don’t hear me bitching about it, do you? Besides, that looks like _your_ teammate out there defending your ass while you’re over here whining at me! Or, maybe it’s my teammate? Is that your Naruto? I can’t tell from here.”

“Never refer to him as ‘mine’ again.”

“Look, whatever. The point is—ah, I see who he’s fighting now. Ugh, a creepy grass kunoichi with an unnaturally long tongue? Neji is so going to say ‘I told you so.’”

A truly nasty smirk spread across Sasuke’s face. “Your teammate with the girly hair? He won’t be telling anyone much of anything seeing as he fell out of the tree and knocked himself unconscious.”

“He what!?”

Both Sasukes had to jump back as Naruto came flying toward them, crashing into the trunk of the tree with a loud thunk. He moaned and struggled to right himself.

“Oi, bastard, what are you just standing around chatting for!?”

“Your Naruto,” she said, just to be spiteful. She searched the ground for Neji, finally spotting a flash of pink that was probably Sakura’s hair. “I’m—“

“Well, well—I hardly believed it when I heard that there was another Uchiha, but it seems it’s my lucky day!” The Grass-nin said, licking her lips. Eww.

“Who are you?”

“Who am I? Well, I suppose there’s no harm in telling you.” Instead of actually saying anything, she started making a series of extremely gross squelching noises as she _ripped_ her face off, revealing a marginally more masculine one underneath. When she spoke again, her voice was deeper. “I am Orochimaru.” The ominous aura increased exponentially.

Sasuke, however, was too distracted to be intimidated. “Like, of the Legendary Sannin?”

“Indeed. Though I have since risen above such petty accolades. I am so much more, now.”

“Yeah, but…aren’t you a missing-nin. A legend? Why are you taking a chuunin exam?”

“Why, I’m here for your body. And the young man beside you, as well.”

“Okay…that was…blunt. Do you have a preference? Because I was pretty sure you were gay.”

Naruto, who’d finally regained his feet, choked on a laugh. Her alternate self didn’t seem to have a sense of humor, though she’d already guessed that. 

Orochimaru did not appear at all offended. “I am searching for a vessel, a new body to transfer my consciousness to, and I intend to possess the legendary Sharingan. To instantly copy any jutsu…” Orochimaru made a noise that was definitely not appropriate for being out in public. Or ever. “You are both young and strong and beautiful—though I am curious as to why your eyes are different. I was unaware the Sharingan came in so many varieties. How delightful.”

“You are so creepy,” Sasuke informed him, checking her swiftly decreasing chakra levels worriedly. “And like hell I’m letting you use my body in any capacity.”

“Yeah, just shut up!” Naruto yelled. “There’s no way I’m letting a weird creep like you defeat me! My name is Uzumaki Naruto, and I will protect my teammates and this village with my life!”

“Well, if you insist. Though you seem vaguely familiar…have I defeated you before? I could have sworn one of my snakes ate you a few minutes ago.”

“Huh?”

“No, that was me.”

Everyone turned to see another Naruto, covered in entrails and looking seriously pissed off. And smelly.

“Well, it doesn’t matter how many of you there are. Mere genin could never defeat me, the great Orochimaru.”

“We’ll just see about that. Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!”

The two Narutos produced a veritable tsunami of clones, and both Sasukes simultaneously spat a Phoenix Flower Jutsu at the smirking creep.

He dodged the fire and summoned a massive snake, leaping onto its head and neatly avoiding the mass of clones. 

Boy-Sasuke produced a giant shuriken and launched it at the snake’s head, snarling when it was deflected by the thing’s tongue. 

Orochimaru wasn’t done being creepy and gross apparently, because he proceeded to _puke_ up a sword and start cutting a swath through the clones with it. He didn’t seem too inconvenienced by the clones, which was definitely not a good sign.

“He’s not even trying,” Sasuke said, coughing as she tried to clear her dry throat. Stupid fire jutsu. She swayed a little on the branch.

“What, getting tired already?”

“Go to hell. This special Sharingan uses up a lot of chakra.”

“I have this under control. Why don’t you go check on your teammate.”

Sasuke glanced over to where both Narutos were overwhelming the Sannin with nothing but stubbornness and sheer volume of clones. “I think you mean _Naruto_ has everything under control,” she snarked. She ran down the tree trunk before he could reply.

“What’s the situation?” she asked.

Sakura startled, knuckles white where they clutched her kunai. “He’s still unconscious. I don’t think he’s seriously hurt, just stunned.”

“I’ll take over from here.”

“I’m not much of a fighter…”

“In about two minutes I’m going to pass out, so if you think you can do better than that, get up there!”

“Okay.”

Far above their heads, Sasuke screamed. Both girls looked up, only to see Orochimaru…sucking on his neck? Oh, and Orochimaru’s neck was now about ten feet long.

What…the…hell...?

Sasuke covered her eyes with her hands. Sometimes the Sharingan’s photographic memory could be a real drawback. “Is there anything about that guy that’s not completely disgusting and creepy?”

When she opened her eyes again, Sakura had stopped chewing on her lip, her earlier fear replaced with determination. “I can’t let him hurt Sasuke!” she declared, racing up the tree trunk.

“Well, um, good luck!”

Neji stirred.

“Hey, are you ok? Neji?”

“Ugh…what’s going on?”

“We’re fighting that weird grass ninja.”

“The one I said we should keep an eye on, and you said—“

“Okay smart guy, I’ll bet you didn’t know that she was secretly Orochimaru of the Sannin!”

“…no, I did not guess that. Why exactly is one of the Sannin here and crashing the chuunin exam?”

“Apparently he’s looking for a younger, prettier body to possess, preferably with the Sharingan, preferably a girl. Maybe he thinks his chances are better with Jiraiya if he’s girl-shaped. Not a supposition without foundation, if you know what I mean.”

“Is this really the time, Sasuke?”

“You don’t fool me, mister. You’re dead white and your hands are shaking. I’ve found inappropriate humor to be an excellent distraction from oppressive killing intent. Maybe they should teach that at the Academy? I bet sensei would agree with me.”

“Sasuke.”

“It’s bad, Neji. We’re getting our asses kicked and I’m just about out of chakra. I do have an idea, but…it’s kind of a crazy one. I’d rather you put some distance between us before I actually try it. And maybe take some of the others with you.”

Both Narutos crashed to the forest floor near them, massive bruises on their foreheads and down for the count. Apparently the only thing as hard as Naruto’s skull was…well, Naruto’s skull.

“Or maybe you can just take Sakura. I saw the other Sasuke go down earlier; I think he’s alive, but he’s not going anywhere anytime soon.”

“Wait, what exactly are you planning on doing? Sasuke, get back here! Sasuke!”

She ignored him, racing up the tree to where Sakura, bleeding but fierce, hovered protectively over her Sasuke. She was clutching a kunai like it could possibly make a difference in a fight of this caliber. But it still said something about her that she stood by her teammate despite the overwhelming odds, something that Sasuke could respect.

“Get out of here, Sakura. I’m going to try something, and I’m not sure what’s going to happen.”

“All right.” She slung Sasuke over her shoulder and ran.

“Ah, I see my other vessel has arrived. I’m glad to see that you have more sense than your companions.”

“I’m not here to surrender, I’m here to fight.”

“Girl, I have defeated the Kyuubi no Kitsune _twice_ today—and you can rest assured that I will be asking Sarutobi-sensei about that when I see him next—so what exactly do you think _you_ are going to do.”

“I’m not sure yet, but I am sure that I will not let you hurt my teammates while I still have strength to stand.”

“Oh, very well. This is starting to get a bit bothersome, though, so make it quick.”

“You could take me a little more seriously, you know. Aren’t I supposed to be your grand vessel or whatever?”

“I have not decided yet. This fight does present the unexpected bonus of assessing which potential vessel has the more worthy skills. Your male counterpart has enormous untapped potential—what secrets do you hold for me?”

“You are such a creeper, seriously.”

Since he was apparently going to stand there and wait for her to make her move, Sasuke took her time as she concentrated, reaching deep inside herself for that strange chakra reserve behind her Sharingan eyes that she’d tapped into once before—on a field while held prisoner by Grass ninja. How ironic.

She felt…something…shift, and then she remembered nothing more.


	10. ...does anyone know what just happened?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I took some definite liberties here with the way the Sharingan works. On the other hand, it’s not at all clear to me that anyone knows exactly how that works.

When Sasuke next woke, it was to the all-too-familiar scents of antiseptic and starch. “I’m so tired of hospitals,” she said.

“Sensei, Naruto, she’s awake!”

Sasuke blinked, growled when she realized there were bandages over her eyes and she wouldn’t be seeing anything anytime soon, and reached out with her other senses. Neji was nearby, probably sitting by her bedside, and her other two teammates’ chakra signatures were close and getting closer. Along with a lot of other people’s.

“What happened? What’s going on?” she asked.

“A lot of people are wondering that. I think they’re going to have a full debriefing now that you’re finally awake,” Neji said.

“Awesome. Can you at least tell me how long I’ve been out?”

“Six days.”

“So, the Exam?”

“I carried you to the Tower, but they decided that didn’t count as the whole team making it. We were disqualified.”

The aforementioned people piled into the room before she could formulate a response. 

“How are you feeling, Sasuke?” the Sandaime asked.

“Like I’ve been telling you, I’m fine!” “Like I want to get of this hospital!”

Apparently her counterpart was trapped here, too.

“I’m glad to hear that you’re both doing well. Perhaps we could discuss what happened in the Forest?”

Finally! Sasuke thought. She waited.

And waited.

“Any time, now,” she said, annoyed.

“Actually, we were hoping you could tell us what happened,” the Hokage said delicately.

“What makes you think I know anything? I’ve been unconscious for a week! Last thing I remember we were getting our collective asses handed to us by one of the most powerful ninja Konoha ever produced. The fact that I’m waking up at all is almost enough for me to appreciate this hospital. Did help come?”

“Er, no. The others said that you saved them.”

“I don’t remember.”

“Someone must know what happened!”

“Well…” Sakura began uncertainly. “I _saw_ what happened, I just can’t explain it.”

“That’s a start. I don’t suppose it’s worth asking why you didn’t mention this earlier?”

“Umm…”

“Nevermind, why doesn’t everyone share what they know and we’ll see if we can piece the whole narrative together,” the Sandaime said in a conciliatory tone.

“Starting from when?”

“Well, from when you first noticed something was wrong.”

“We were attacked first,” Sakura began.

“No, but I knew something was wrong before we even went into the Forest!” Neji interrupted.

“Give it a rest, you thought they were dating! That’s not even remotely close to ‘oh that Grass ninja is Orochimaru in disguise!’” Sasuke shot back.

“…could you explain that a little more?” the Sandaime asked weakly.

“While we were waiting to go into the Forest, an older Konoha genin seemed overly interested in Sasuke and whether she was an Uchiha. Then he went to speak with the Grass kunoichi who later turned out to be Orochimaru. I believe that’s how he found out that there was more than one Uchiha in the village,” Neji summarized.

“Wait, Orochimaru was disguised as a woman?”

“I saw that too!” Sakura exclaimed. “Not at that time, but when we were fighting she ripped her face off—it was really gross! And underneath was a guy’s face with slit pupils, like a snake. At least, I’m pretty sure it was a guy.”

“Who was this Konoha ninja he was speaking with? Another of Orochimaru’s agents in disguise?”

Neji shrugged. “I didn’t recognize him, but I don’t know that many ninja. I don’t remember if he mentioned his name, but he had white hair and glasses.”

“Hmm, that sounds like it could be Kabuto. I’ll have someone look into it. Then what happened?”

“We were attacked!” Naruto said, waving his arms around wildly and widening a tear in Neji’s shirt.

Neji sighed. He definitely wasn’t getting that back. Why was Naruto even still wearing it?

“You weren’t the first ones attacked!” the other Naruto piped up. “That was me! I got eaten by a snake!”

“But we were attacked by Orochimaru personally, not some lame snake!” Naruto insisted. “I fought him off single-handedly while Sasuke freaked out like a little girl!”

“Hey!” both Sasukes protested.

“This is not actually that important,” the Sandaime said. “You engaged Orochimaru in combat; then what happened?”

“We all fought him and got absolutely nowhere,” Sasuke said, clenching her fists. “He was just toying with us. Oh, and Neji fell out of the tree for some reason.”

“It was all the killing intent,” he mumbled. “I would have been fine if I hadn’t been standing on the edge of a branch at the time.”

“And Orochimaru kept going on about how he wanted a new vessel with the Sharingan,” Sasuke said loudly, before her obnoxious counterpart could do more than open his mouth.

“Well, that is…troubling.”

“But Sasuke killed him, so it shouldn’t matter what he wanted anymore, right?” Sakura asked.

“Okay, now this is the part I don’t remember,” Sasuke said, sitting up a little straighter. “Are you sure it was me that killed him?”

“Definitely. I’ve never seen a jutsu like _that_ before! You sort of…grew a little taller, and became kind of, I don’t know…transparent? Orochimaru totally freaked out, so maybe he recognized the jutsu. All you did was run at him with a katana, but when you stabbed him with it there was this massive explosion and when we could see again, you were unconscious and falling out of the tree and he had disappeared.”

“I caught you,” Neji added. “There were black flames everywhere and even though they didn’t seem to actually be burning anything, I thought it would probably be a bad thing if you landed in them.”

“So…why don’t we think that he just escaped? And thanks for the rescue, by the way.”

It was Sakura who answered. “Orochimaru left some kind of…mark…on Sasuke. He was obviously in terrible pain and eventually he passed out. But then, after your ghost jutsu or whatever, the mark faded. The doctors think it was some kind of sealing jutsu, creating a tie between Sasuke and Orochimaru, but that tie broke because Orochimaru was killed.”

“I’ve actually seen that before,” Kakashi, still dutifully wearing his scarf, volunteered, before they could start rehashing the argument that had kept the conscious Sasuke in the hospital for days “under observation”. “Not the ghost thing, or the seal bond or whatever, but when I went looking for you after that disastrous Grass mission you were unconscious and surrounded by black flames that didn’t burn but didn’t go out either. I had to seal them in a scroll.”

“Maybe it has something to do with the Hidden Grass?” the Sandaime speculated.

“But Orochimaru isn’t actually a Grass-nin, he was just dressed like one,” Sasuke pointed out. “Or wearing one’s skin…okay, eww.”

“I have a theory,” Neji said.

They waited. 

“And that is…?” Sasuke prompted.

“It’s…nevermind, forget I said anything.”

“Neji.”

“If Sakura didn’t notice anything, then I’m probably just imagining it,” Neji said, despite the fact that he was well-known for having no imagination whatsoever.

“Neji, Sakura is from a civilian family and we’ve known each other for eight days, most of which I was unconscious for. You and I have lived together for years. It is extremely likely that you noticed something about my abilities that she didn’t.”

Neji sighed. “It happened pretty much like she said. But you didn’t change, or at least, you were still there. There was a projection around you, of another person, made of pure chakra. They were a few inches taller than you, but dressed in an ANBU captain’s uniform.”

Sasuke breathed out slowly. “You think it was my brother.”

“I don’t…well, yes. I know that sounds crazy.”

“This mystery ability has saved my life twice now, without any conscious input from me. There aren’t a lot of jutsu that work like that. And the ability comes from my Sharingan, which I got from Itachi-nii-san in the first place.” She immediately began unwrapping her bandages.

“That’s not a good idea,” someone unfamiliar said—probably a medic.

She ignored him, opening her eyes and reaching for that peculiar chakra.

Several people gasped.

It took her a few moments to realize that she could see, _really_ see and not just the approximation granted by the Sharingan. For the first time in years she could see colors, and it was almost overwhelming. She was so shocked that it took her a few minutes before she realized that she couldn’t feel that special chakra at all.

“It’s gone!” she exclaimed. “My Sharingan—that special chakra reserve—I can’t feel any of it!”

“That makes sense,” Kakashi said.

Everything turned to look at him. 

“Why are you wearing a pink scarf?” Sasuke asked.

“In what way does that make sense?” the Sandaime asked on behalf of all of them. Even the other Kakashi looked confused.

“Sakura said that Orochimaru and the projection disappeared at the same time. The only jutsu that causes that kind of reaction are sealing jutsu. Even a jutsu that caused Orochimaru to dissolve would take a few seconds, and there’s no reason that the projection should have disappeared, too. Whatever jutsu allowed Sasuke to project…whatever she projected…must have sealed both the projection and Orochimaru simultaneously.”

“Or it could have sent them both to an alternate dimension,” the other Kakashi pointed out.

“I would say that’s ridiculous, but my presence here would somewhat undermine that position,” Kakashi said thoughtfully, absently chewing on his scarf.

“Does this mean I’ll never be able to use my Sharingan again?” Sasuke asked, her voice small.

“It might,” Kakashi said bluntly. “But more likely it means that you’ll have to learn to use your Sharingan in the ordinary way, developing it through practice instead of having it control you.”

She tried to get excited about that, but was obviously still caught up in the idea that she had carried a part of her brother’s spirit with her and now it was gone.

Everyone stood around in awkward silence until an ANBU knocked on the door. He stepped in, wilting slightly in the oppressive atmosphere, then saluted the Hokage. “You wanted to be kept updated on the abnormality in the Uchiha compound? We’re certain now; it’s shrinking. I’d estimate that it could disappear completely as soon as tomorrow, and definitely within the week.”

Kakashi shook himself and took charge of his team. “All right, then. We should return home as soon as possible, since we still have no idea how we could recreate this phenomenon. I will alert the Sandaime in our world that we should post a guard in the Uchiha compound for the next few days. And I expect he’ll want to hear about Orochimaru and…Kabuto, was it?”

“Can we meet there in an hour?” Neji asked. “There’s something I want to take care of, first.”

“Fine, the gate of the Uchiha compound, one hour. Take Sasuke with you.”

~*~

“Why can’t we just go home now?”

“Will you stop whining? You’ve done nothing but sulk since you woke up.”

Sasuke forced the pout off her face. “I have not.”

“Look, this is only going to take a few minutes, then we can go home and you can sulk as much as you want.”

“What are we doing, anyway?”

Neji looked shifty. Sasuke took a moment to enjoy her fully restored eyesight. 

“Okay, I was just making conversation before, but now I’m really curious.”

“After the Forest they held a round of one-on-one fights.”

“Like in Suna.”

“Yes, except these were just preliminary matches, the real finals don’t take place for another month.”

“That’s kind of stupid.”

“Well, I think they want to shore up the security breaches that let Orochimaru and his agents sneak in, and there were a lot more people who passed the second part of the Exam than in Suna, so maybe it was necessary. The point is, I was here in the hospital waiting for you to wake up so I got a firsthand view of all the injuries.”

“…and?”

“Your friend Rock Lee was seriously hurt. The doctors aren’t sure he’ll recover.”

“Okay, I barely know him, and this isn’t even the Lee I know, and you’re changing the subject. You’re not putting off returning home to leave flowers for Lee.”

“Hinata was also hurt.”

“Hinata…your cousin? I’ve seen her a few times. She seems nice. Kind of quiet, but friendly.”

Neji gave a little twitch. “I suppose. If it weren’t for her my father would still be alive.”

“But that’s not exactly her fault, is it?”

“I know that!” he snapped. “Doesn’t change what happened. I used to hate her for it. Actually, I still hate her for it. She was born to lead the clan, but she can’t even take care of herself! I almost feel sorry for her she’s so pathetically inadequate.”

“But she made it to the chuunin exam.”

“Yes, and as soon as she got to a part of the exam where she couldn’t depend on others she landed in the hospital.”

“So we’re going to see your cousin? Was she badly hurt?”

“Her heart stopped twice the first night.”

“Wow. Is she going to be okay?”

“No one knows. The doctors are baffled. They think that at the very least she’ll have to give up being a ninja.”

“What happened?”

“…I did. Or, rather, the other me. They were matched against each other in the competition.”

“…huh.”

“He destroyed her. It was totally unnecessary; like kicking a baby. There’s just no comparison between my skills and Hinata’s. I have to say something before we go.”

“Wow, okay. You know that if you ever beat up on someone smaller and weaker than you I would kick your ass into next year, right?”

“I like to think that I would never do something like this, but obviously that’s not the case.”

“We’re not the same people in both universes, Neji. Would you want to kiss my counterpart?”

He scowled. She just laughed.

They both got serious as they approached one of the training areas—apparently Neji had done his homework on where his other-self might be.

“What do you want?” the other Neji asked sullenly.

“I heard that you’ve turned into a petty thug.”

Sasuke raised her eyebrows and decided it would be prudent to go sit by a tree—on the other side of the clearing. He meant _that_ kind of words.

“She knew what she was doing.”

“The doctors said that she was clinically dead for almost five minutes.”

The other Neji at least had the good grace to flinch.

“Explain this to me.”

“You wouldn’t understand.”

Neji raised an eyebrow.

“She wouldn’t stop! She just kept standing up, even though she knew she couldn’t win! And then—!

“And then?”

“She thought that _I_ was the one trapped in the Hyuuga clan’s legacy!”

“Which is obviously true, and you know it.”

“She didn’t have to rub it in my face like that.”

“I didn’t see the fight, but I’m confident you started rubbing her face in her inadequacies first.”

“She’s pathetic.”

“Maybe so, but that doesn’t exactly make you very impressive for beating her to death in a friendly competition. She’s your family and your comrade. Couldn’t you have just spit on her or something?”

“She’s no family of mine.”

“I have something to say to you, but I know you and so I know that you won’t actually listen to anything I have to say unless I kick some sense into you.”

The other Neji folded his arms over his chest and raised a skeptical eyebrow.

“Unless, of course, you’re afraid to fight someone who’s not a smaller, younger, weaker, girl.”

They ran at each other.

Sasuke watched with interest as the two boys fought—it was too vicious to be called a spar—with almost identical techniques. One would kick, and the other blocked. One would palm strike, the other deflected. 

This was going to take more than their allotted hour.

Round and round they went, blue bursts of chakra discharge highlighting particularly vicious strikes. After a few minutes she was able to discern that her Neji tended to use his feet a lot more, and his counterpart was just a shade slower to react to sweeps and low kicks than jyuuken strikes.

Probably because her Neji was much more used to fighting someone who didn’t use the Gentle Fist, she guessed, pleased that she’d been able to help Neji become a better ninja.

But fun as this was, and as certain as she was that her teammate would be the ultimate victor, they were on a time limit here. Also, her butt was starting to get sore from so much sitting after her week-long sleep. Would it ruin the lesson if she joined the fight?

She blinked, certain that her new eyes were deceiving her. The sun was painfully bright after so many years in the dark, so she could easily have been confused. But no, she was sure; instead of just striking out with an open palm like he usually did, her teammate was forming seals with each strike, like a subtle, slow motion jutsu. That was odd; he never used jutsu!

His opponent didn’t seem to have noticed and was caught completely unawares when her Neji raised a hand to his lips and blew a stream of fire right in the other boy’s face.

“Ahhh!”

Sasuke got to her feet, but the damage was only superficial. She was more concerned about her teammate’s coughing fit than the other boy’s minor burns, painful as they must have been. He’d recover, and served him right for being a jerk.

Her Neji regained control of his breathing and efficiently closed his counterpart’s tenketsu points, finishing off with a hearty push to the chest that left his opponent sprawled on the ground, unable to move. He scowled, still smoking slightly from the fire jutsu.

“Are you ready to hear what I have to say now?” her Neji asked.

The other Neji made a low growling noise that did not sound like agreement.

“Well, seeing as you’re in no position to stop me, I’m going to say it anyway: it wouldn’t kill you to bend a little. Be more flexible, with your jutsu and your attitude. I’ve made peace with Hinata in my world, and I have close friends and comrades; you don’t have to be alone, either.”

Neji spun on his heel and took Sasuke’s hand, tugging her towards her clan compound. “So…we’re leaving now?”

“We’re done here.”

“Okay, then. And stop dragging me, I can walk fine on my own!”

He smiled. “You know, you could try being a little less independent, too.”

“You wouldn’t know what to do without me, Mr. I’m-So-Independent.”

“Come on, the others are probably wondering what happened to us.”


	11. Epilogue

When they returned to their own universe, the three genin made their escape, heartlessly abandoning Kakashi to interrogation by, well, practically everyone in the village.

The first thing Kakashi did after giving his report—besides give it again, twice, and haul all three of his students into the Hokage’s office to swear he wasn’t just messing around—was warn the Sandaime of Orochimaru’s threat.

The rest of the village wasn’t quite sure why Orochimaru’s later capture and execution warranted a celebration—he was a powerful missing-nin, but mostly forgotten by then—but they hardly needed an excuse.

Hyuuga Hiashi even consented to holding a special banquet at the Hyuuga compound to honor the ANBU who had finally eliminated the threat. Since said ANBU had to remain nameless, the event quickly became an excuse for an old-style formal clan dinner that every ANBU who wasn’t someone important in his or her clan cheerfully skipped.

All the important ninja in the village were there, dressed in their best and showing off shamelessly. Regardless of the unwanted formality, it was a great honor to be invited.

Team Seven, which arguably had done as much as the ANBU to free Konoha of this threat, wasn’t invited.

Kakashi weaseled out of it because even though he was technically Head of the Hatake clan, everyone knew how he felt about formal functions and that if they made him come he had no qualms about doing something creative and embarrassing to completely ruin the evening.

Neji, of course, was still firmly on Hiashi’s bad side.

Naruto was…well, it was obvious why no one would want Naruto at a formal dinner. Besides, he was fully occupied with giving the courier ninja nightmares as he tried out various “diplomatic” messages he wanted to send to the _Kazekage_ to set up _playdates_ with his youngest son. Apparently there was a story there that involved getting threatened by the boy after the exams were over, but frankly Sasuke didn’t even want to know.

Sasuke actually did get an invitation—hand-delivered, no less—but she threw it in the fire. “I’m not setting foot in the main house until my whole team can come with me,” she said, tone uncompromising. “And Hiashi doesn’t have the authority to make me do anything.”

She and Neji fought about it for hours.

“I don’t need you to do me any favors!” he hissed.

“Shut up and stop trying to boss me around!” she shouted.

“I’m worried about what you’re going to do! Last time I saw that expression you decided to sneak into the compound and copy the Gentle Fist technique so you could teach it to me. Whatever you’re thinking, the answer is no.”

~*~

The night of the banquet finally arrived, and it looked like the Sandaime would be spending the entire evening attempting to pacify Hiashi when the head of the Uchiha clan refused to show. He’d begged, bribed, then physically forced Kakashi into helping—with any luck, he’d track down Sasuke wherever she was hiding so successfully and offer her up in his place. Kakashi was generous like that.

Nara Shikaku and his family drifted in half an hour late, the (second to) last of the major clans to arrive, and the Sandaime braced himself to deflect as much of Hiashi’s venom as possible onto Kakashi instead. 

When the doors slid open, he dared to hope that all of that fierce Uchiha pride had finally been set aside in the interests of keeping the peace.

It wasn’t Uchiha.

It was Hyuuga Neji.

He looked elegant (if a bit feminine) in his formal attire, but mostly he looked like he couldn’t quite believe his own daring. The Sandaime couldn’t believe it either.

It was obvious which attendees had personally had dealings with the Hyuuga because they fell abruptly silent, and, gradually, the whole room picked up on the abruptly solemn mood. Somewhere in the background, one of the branch family members dropped a serving tray.

Only when even the children had noticed something was wrong and fallen silent did Hiashi—slowly—rise to his feet. The Sandaime raised his hand off the table, then let it fall again. There was absolutely nothing he could do about this. 

Except attempt to restrain Kakashi, who was obviously assessing the chances of disabling all the other ninja in the room and hiding his student somewhere.

The Sandaime would have been impressed with the way Neji steadfastly held his ground if there were any reason whatsoever that could possibly justify doing something so stupid and reckless.

Hiashi opened his mouth to speak, but was interrupted by the clattering of footsteps in the hall. He frowned.

The door slid open again and Hyuuga Hinata appeared in the doorway, dressed in a simple but lovely kimono and flushed from her quick pace.

Hiashi, who obviously hadn’t noticed his daughter was missing, raised an eyebrow.

She cringed and scurried to her seat.

Then Sasuke appeared, still in her training clothes and with her Mangekyou Sharingan bare. She leaned casually against the wall, looking remarkably like her father at his most pompous.

The Sandaime discreetly double-checked his exits.

“Ah, I see you’ve met my plus one,” she all but purred, somehow managing to look down her nose at the much-taller Hyuuga clan head. 

It was hard to believe she wasn’t even fourteen.

He, predictably, puffed up in indignation. “Excuse me?”

“I believe my invitation indicated that I was allowed to bring a date.”

Hiashi paused a moment while this sank in. “Taking pity on your teammate isn’t going to save him from the consequences of his actions,” he stated flatly. “He is not invited to this function.”

She smirked, apparently unaware of the extremely precarious situation, or the appropriate protocol. “Pity? Not hardly. Inviting my fiancée certainly falls within any definition of an acceptable plus one.”

Hiashi was speechless.

“We’re getting married?” Neji asked, speaking for the first time since his arrival. “Why didn’t I know about this?” He didn’t seem all that surprised, however.

Sasuke turned that condescending smirk on him. “You can’t possibly have spent all this time chasing away opportunistic creeps and _not_ have realized the consequences of dating me.”

He blinked.

“Congratulations, you are the future Head of the Uchiha clan.”

The Sandaime coughed. It was loud in the silent room.

Hiashi finally seemed to pull himself together and glared at Sasuke, who, if she was intimidated, did a remarkable job of hiding it. “Now see here—“

“The Sandaime told me that the council decreed that I could have any young man of good breeding from Konoha that I pleased, so long as he was agreeable,” she interrupted— _interrupted!_ “Neji is both young and male—I assume—“

“Really, Sasuke?”

“—and since he shares half his genes with _you_ I assume you’re not going to dispute the ‘good breeding’ part.”

The Sandaime sunk a bit in his chair. He would swear steam was rising from Hiashi’s ears.

“However, if you want to duel over his honor, we can do that, too.” And then she _took a defensive stance_. Her eyes whirled.

Kakashi—suicidal moron that he was—decided to join in the unfolding drama. “If you’re going to fight, please take it outside. The village. You remember what happened last time—you know, when you single-handedly defeated Orochimaru of the Sannin?”

Some of the tension eased as Hiashi blinked and realized that he was about to brawl on the floor at a party with a thirteen-year-old girl. He gritted his teeth and managed an infinitesimal nod before whirling and stalking to his seat. Grown ninja threw themselves out of his way to avoid drawing his wrath.

“Oh good,” Sasuke said, “I didn’t really want to fight in these shoes.”

More than one set of eyes went to her sandals, the same type worn by virtually every ninja in the village virtually every day.

She grinned a bit sheepishly. “Well, I didn’t think anyone would believe I was serious about fighting so I used a little genjutsu on my appearance. And by the way, Neji—Hinata-chan is now my second best friend, and yours too.”

He opened his mouth and she ended the genjutsu.

Kakashi appeared at his side a minute later, grinning, and closed his mouth for him. “Very nice,” he said, gesturing to her elaborate, multi-layered kimono. She’d even styled her hair and—was that makeup?

Neji finally regained some command over his vocal cords. He made a noise unrecognizable as any language she knew, but it ended in a questioning lilt.

“Now _that_ is something I actually _want_ to be committed to memory,” Sasuke said, sounding very satisfied. “Naturally, I haven’t managed to activate the Sharingan under my own power yet. But it’ll come to me. Now come give me a hand; Hinata-chan said there’s a trick to walking in this get-up but I haven’t figured it out yet.”

At this return to some semblance of normalcy, Neji laughed quietly and offered his arm. “You can run through the forest without touching the ground and you can’t manage to walk across a room?” he teased.

“Hey, maybe you hadn’t noticed, but my father was so unwilling to have a girl he gave me a boy’s name. I’ve never even _held_ a real kimono. Hinata-chan took me shopping and dressed me and—“ she waved her hand vaguely in the direction of her face “—everything.”

“It’s—nice.”

“Nice? Be careful, I’ll get a big head with all that flattery.”

“You already have a big head.”

“Pot, kettle.”

They smiled at each other.

“Well, this is a fine engagement party, but I think I hear a poor old woman in distress…” Kakashi said, disappearing in a swirl of leaves.

Somehow, Hiashi’s spine went even stiffer.

“I thought the ANBU captured Orochimaru,” Nara Shikaku said thoughtfully.

The Sandaime sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.

The young couple didn’t pay any of the room’s other occupants the least bit of attention as they bickered good-naturedly all the way to their seats.


End file.
